Consistently Inconsistent

New Blog

2009-09-07T12:54:00.001-04:00

Join me if you'd like...

http://180daysitsnowornever.blogspot.com/

180 Days now or never.... I decided to chronicle my next 180 days (6mos) making my cd and a name for myself in the Atlanta Underground scene....it's now or never.

C.

So.....

2009-09-07T11:04:00.001-04:00

I am back...I think.

Follow Me

2009-03-18T07:16:00.002-04:00

No much to say....I tweet....I'm a tweeter...I tweeted??

Idk Follow Me..

http://twitter.com/cdotwill

~Rambles, QT, and the RED ROOSTER RUSH~

2009-02-06T17:37:00.000-05:00

Today on lunch I went to QT with a couple of friends-why is it that we walk around that gas station as though it’s the greatest restaurant on earth?? It’s no restaurant…. What is wrong with us?

Speaking of which----why in the world are their sodas so cheap?! A 22oz for .69??? And why do we mix it up?? Why didn’t that stop at like age 21 or something?

Why did I mix Red Rooster Rush Energy drink with Sprite and I am seeing stars and ready to take on the world!?

I think I am an adult but I still suffer from child A.D.D not adult…..

Did any of you people who lurk around my page check out Drake? I am telling you he is the hottest eargasm you never had.

I was thinking about getting a tattoo then my friends told me to get one representing Trav---am I wrong for feeling that is “Cliché?”

I now know why they call the Blackberry a Crackberry—I am addicted.

And why was I clueless when people said—hey whats your pin # ping me! Wtf is a ping? Idk but I found my pin # hoes!

I think I love Italian Icee.

I still have those rough nights and I miss Travis terribly.

My friends want me to go to the UniverSoul circus---don’t those fools know I am afraid of clowns…lions…tigers…bears………..elephants….the circus!

Last night in the wood (Dunwoody) a couple started arguing and yelling the boyfriend said: “Stupid B@!$# you cheat, and you want to take the dog! Get out don’t talk to me get out!” Then he yells, “Wait, leave Pookie please let him stay.” See “WE” aint the only crazy ones….

How come Mexicans can put my brakes on my car in 20 minutes in my own drive way and Just Brakes or somewhere “professional” need me to leave my car?

Holy Toledo batman I just got a new job offer……sorry the ADD kicking in once again. So yea….how come FaceOff at UGA wasn’t as good this year?? Because my Alphas didn’t kill it like they normally do…ugh

How come I heard this poet at Urban Grind Café and he was so smooth I want to marry his verbs and have his grammatical babies?

Eh, I don’t have anything else to say so----yeah um…done.

Have a good weekend

Life....dirty socks...and Drake

2009-02-04T14:53:00.005-05:00

Since I am bored at work, now is the time to blog….I guess. I haven’t been up to much of anything, I still live in the wood (the affectionate slang name I have given Dunwoody) and I am still alive. Monday marked 4 months since my boyfriend died, and I think for the most part I am ok. Sometimes I get angry but I am slowly learning with age how to control that. I can’t blame my friends when they have tedious complaints because it’s not their fault he died….and again I am working on that.Music is going ok, I am finally back at it. I had stopped for months. I just didn’t feel motivated and my number 1 fan wasn’t around anymore…but I am back and working on my mixtape which is called—Calculated Confessions I chose this title because I think each song –that I am working on I chose exact moments in my life to write those songs and really express my thoughts on it. It’s not really a “drop this song because it’s hot cd” its more for----ok I really don’t know who its for but hopefully people like it. I tried to capture my inner—Common, Lupe, Jill Scott, Roots Drake------à OMG let’s talk about Drake man this dude is the flyest thing walking...Everyone who knows me knows I am good for promoting indie people whom I love….DRAKE IS MY FAVE RIGHT NOW. He’s in my cd player right as we speak!

www.myspace.com/thisisdrake

Do your ears a favor and check him out.

I been busy...lol

2009-02-02T21:03:00.004-05:00

Not really..

Happy New Year (late eh..so)

So me and this guy ------the At & t Lg Vu didn't work out.....

So I am back with tmobile...but I let the SK go...and embraced the Blackberry...I love it. Feels good to be home!
My mixtape cover...I finally feel motivated again....(its elegant simplicity huh?)

Love ya'll more updating later...

It's been a minute...

2008-12-16T18:54:00.002-05:00

Hey family...how is everyone? I am alive and so Blessed that so many of you care. I love you all. I am not feeling 100 percent #1 Haterish...but I am definitely getting back on my feet.

This morning I actually woke up and thought...damn I hate living in Dunwoody. I can never find a Church's chicken--and for those who frequent my blog you know I went on a Chicken rampage last year in search of cooked bird..so I guess that's a start. (side note I no longer eat the bird...) lucky basturd because everyone also knows I demolished the chicken I am probably part chicken for all the bird I ate. Either that or somewhere a Chicken gang is plotting to kill me.

Anyway, I am alive I am doing better- some days are far more harder than others. But I am alive and blessed...

Untitled

2008-11-13T22:48:00.002-05:00

I wasn't going to update..but finally I decided to.

I met Travis a few years ago, I never really "liked" him per say. Well I did but--he was so attractive I thought...he doesn't go for the average "jeans & t-shirt," chick like me. But he did. After a few years of being one of my closest friends he became, my soul. On October 2nd, my soul died. In a war that I have to support because my sister is headed over there on 11.24.08.

For the past few weeks, I haven't said or done...anything. I've alienated my friends, because bullshit arguments about this or that with their bf's seemed so stupid. So irrelevant. At least he was there for you to argue with. Idk.. I guess I don't really have much to say...But friends...family...

I am still alive, and I will try to blog because...maybe that will help. I really don't know. But for now...I am just consumed, overwhelmed, sad, afraid.......alone.

Those of u who have my # I tried to text all of u so that I could give you my new # w/ at & t if I forgot u...please forgive me....I still love u all.

Always.

C.

So seriously...

2008-09-28T20:09:00.001-04:00

This *NO* gas thing in atlanta is for the f*ckin' birds!

Randomness during the last days of my sk slizzi

2008-09-22T15:29:00.001-04:00

Due to lack of sleep I've realized I think of random stuff. Like why is the water fountain next to the bathroom always the coldest water?

Why do I drink from it but in my mind I'm like......what the hell something about this isn't right. And yes..I want to stop because it seems odd but I am..indeed..addicted to that friggin thing.

Damn..

Side not...That Jazmine Sullivan and that TI both the truth!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO....

2008-09-12T18:27:00.002-04:00

BURNT OUT. I AM TAKING EB'S ADVICE...I GOTTA FIND ONE DAY FOR ME.

Yawn, Stretch, Scratch

2008-09-04T22:25:00.003-04:00

Between working full time, going to school full time, finishing this cd, working on a few side projects I only have one thing to say...

Move over pooch....

PS...
For those who wondered-my aunt is HIV negative...but the plot thickens....more blogging next week..time to sleep my life away.

What's wrong with this pic...dont worry I will tell you

2008-08-27T00:04:00.006-04:00

So I took the liberty of copying this text from my SK Slizzi because I choose to rant about it
In case the font is too small for you guys it says:

"Drove by your mom house saw your car guess you 2 f*ckin good now to call your friends? I drove by three times saw you and Taylor outside playing..I got u. Guess if my name aint Travis I get no time."

I blacked out the idiots name and number but posted the msg because this person lurks around my blog and I definitely want this to be read but I am not going to blast anyone's actual number well I might but not this person...for now. Anyway there are so many things wrong with this text msg....

But I will just pick my top 3 and end this with a hearty f*ck off.

1. Don't ever......ever.....ever......mention my little brother name.
Sayin his name is like saying please come kick my a$$. ..I need it. Trust me you don't want to go there and I don't want to take you...but I will.

2. Don't ever ever....ever....ever...ever ever ever compare your company with that company of my dude.
F*ck you think you are?

3. Who the hell drives by someone's house three times??
Stalker sh!t homie...stalker sh!t....

Dang something else I wanted to say but my phone rung...what was it......*scratches head*
oh yea...

F*ck off

Please and thank you.

Everything..but nothing..

2008-08-19T09:20:00.003-04:00

I've had everything on my mind, but nothing to say. I think I've just been drowning in the ocean that is me. Life has pretty much been the same. I haven't talked to my aunt, last I heard from my mom she was to have her test on Monday, the results would be back Wednesday. However when I spoke to my mom-no one in our family including my grandparents could reach her to determine her results. A normal family would panic but that's the way she is so her results could be good or bad. Who knows. We could easily go to the hospital, chances are she is sitting right there. But who has the time?

That last statement is partly why I have been quiet because honestly, I feel a little bad that I don't feel bad enough, weird I suppose. But it's the truth in my mind I am thinking eh, okay. Life happens. I am actually going home this weekend, I got a new job and I start Monday so I figure I will hang out at home this weekend since I haven't been since I lost one of the most influential teachers in my life and went home to pay my last respects. That's been a while. And I'd like to play...er...hang with my little brother. Guess we'll see how it pans out...

PS.

I met Lyfe Jennings...he's cool people, gave me his information. He's officially bumped up a couple notches on my cool meter.

They, us, them…we

2008-08-11T15:22:00.002-04:00

I used to pour my heart out in this blog, but lately things have been light. Not much of a reflection of my days or my inner inner thoughts because honestly life thus far has been pretty good. Today, I pour my heart out and release my glass thoughts and hope people realize I too am human, I am fragile, and this is something I wanted to say. If not kick rocks….my blog my thoughts..

She is my aunt, my stepfathers sister; the third child of 8. Intelligent, an MBA in medicine, a founder of several youth organizations, and the mother of one son.

He was her high school sweetheart, they broke up and ironically after she divorced her child's father they met up again and surprisingly he had divorced his wife as well and the chemistry was amazing, reminiscent of their days as high school lovers, it seemed time had stood still.

Only it hadn't she was now a mother and proud member of the Nation of Islam, dawning a head full of natural dreads, a more calm demeanor, and the pain and turmoil of marrying a wolf in sheep's clothing.

He wasn't the same either, he the retired Army medic was an MBA working on his doctorate, he spoke with an air of intelligence drowned in arrogance, and somehow him and my family just didn't quite click.

On 8.2.08 he went in the hospital, we the family thought nothing of it because he the retired Army medic has been in and out of rehab since they rekindled. Yes the scholar is also a crackhead, meth fiend, and basehead. Ironic.

But she made excuses and listed various war related stresses all the meanwhile they consistently pointed out the failures, shortcomings, and problems in our family. They even went as far as calling meetings at my grandparents house causing turmoil throughout our family and driving a wedge thru what was once a tight knit family

Then on 8.8.08 she called a family meeting, I neglected to attend. They called me. Because all while she moved away and lived with him and he was showing her how much better she was than her family he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He was not only a medic, a scholar, a father, a new husband (they are married), a drug addict, he was also bisexual-and now he is H.I.V positive. Now they need us to support them financially, spiritually, and mentally..funny how he turned us into we, them, they…and now we are who he needs.

This has never just been a blog, it's always been my life…family……lets all be safe, protect ourselves, be careful, and remember when all else fails-they (family) will be there when…sh!t hits the fan.

Be blessed Signed,

Me.

If ...

2008-08-10T18:25:00.003-04:00

Everything happens in 3's
what's next?

(A picture of Isaac Hayes & Bernie Mac ...also Samuel Jackson)

RIP

According to CNN, Soul singer and actor Isaac Hayes, who won Grammy awards and an Oscar for the theme from the 1971 action film “Shaft,” has died.

Relatives found Hayes, 65, unconscious in his Tennessee home next to a still-running treadmill, said Steve Schular, a spokesman for the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department. Paramedics attempted to revive him and took him to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead shortly after 2 p.m., the sheriff’s department said.

No foul play is suspected, the agency said in a written statement.

Coincidently, Issac Hayes is co-starring in the upcoming movie Soul Men with Bernie Mac, who passed away on Saturday from Pneumonia.

This was a really good tribute to him...

2008-08-09T18:53:00.002-04:00

by Alan Sepinwall/The Star-Ledger
Saturday August 09, 2008, 12:18 PM

Bernie Mac, right, with "Bernie Mac Show" creator Larry Wilmore

"My comedy comes from pain," Bernie Mac once told me. "I can't stand to see someone hurting."

Whatever pain Bernie suffered over the years -- from racism or family turmoil or his chronic battles with sarcoidosis -- is gone. He died today in a Chicago hospital due to complications from pneumonia. He was 50.

Though I discovered him relatively late in his life, I was a Bernie Mac fan, whether it was on his Fox sitcom, or in the "Ocean's Eleven" movies, or even less-successful projects like "Mr. 3000" (which I own on DVD). But rather than tell you why Bernie was cool, I'll let him tell you himself. After the jump I'm including the full text of a profile I wrote of him in April of 2002, midway through the first season of "The Bernie Mac Show."

Bernie Mac, like many male celebrities, has a tendency to refer to himself in the third person:

"Bernie Mac is happy." "Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat." "Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say."

This sort of third-person pose ordinarily comes across as hubris, but it makes sense for Bernie Mac, since there are really three different Bernie Macs.

There's Bernie Mac, the angry, hard-edged comic made famous to black audiences as part of the Original Kings of Comedy revue. There's Bernie Mac, the cantankerous suburban dad at the center of Fox's popular new sitcom of the same name. And there's Bernie Mac, born Bernard McCullough, the 44-year-old Chicago son who has spent his entire life preparing for the popularity of his two alter egos.

All three Bernie Macs look the same, talk the same and dress the same, favoring billowing silk shirts and shiny suits. They often act the same. The stand-up routine is loosely based on Mac's real life. The sitcom is a kinder, gentler version of the stand-up act. You could call the comic the id, the TV character the ego and the man the superego, but however you categorize them, Bernard McCullough likes to keep the three Bernie Macs separate.

"I've created Bernie Mac," he says, "the guy who'll go out and say any g- damn thing. So when the people wrote (about the Original Kings movie), 'Bernie Mac was hard, Bernie Mac was blue, Bernie Mac was raunchy,' I didn't get angry, I didn't get upset. Because I knew it was another side of Bernie that you all just had no idea of knowing.

"When I put the mic away, I'm done with that guy. That guy that you're talking to now is not the guy on stage. It takes me 15 minutes to get into that guy. It takes me 30 minutes to let go, because he's so agressive, he's so non-stop. Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience."

Mac has been pleasing audiences for years, but it's only in the last two that he's gone from Bernie Mac: Popular Black Comedian to Bernie Mac: Phenomenon.

"I love making people happy," he says. "That's what got me in this business."

One Sunday night when he was four or five, Mac found his mother crying in front of the television. She refused to explain the cause of her tears, and before her young son could press any further, Bill Cosby came onto "The Ed Sullivan Show" and started doing a routine about snakes in the bathroom.

"And my mother started laughing and crying at the same time," he says now, the story so frequently told that he could probably do it in his sleep. "And when I saw my mother laugh, I started laughing, and I wiped her face and said, "Mom, that's what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be a comedian, so you never have to cry again.'"

He did his first comedy routines in his childhood bedroom, using an empty shoe polish bottle as a microphone and keeping his brothers awake with corny jokes and impressions. His mother and one of his brothers died within a year of each other, both while Mac was a teenager, and he can recite the details of his mother's fatal battle with breast cancer with the same passion and precision he uses on stage.

"My comedy comes from pain," he says. "I can't stand to see someone hurting."

Always a below-average student with the potential to do better, Mac buckled down after his mother's death, but comedy was calling. After high school he began a string of odd jobs all designed to sustain he and wife, Rhonda, while he chased his stand-up dreams.

He was a janitor, a professional mover, a schoolbus driver for handicapped children and a fast food restaurant manager. He briefly spent his days telling jokes and doing impressions on the El trains, but despite a daily take that he estimates at $400, he gave it up "because I felt like a bum."

At the end of a long day's work, he would go to a comedy club, write his name on the board and wait for his turn to come. For years, it either wouldn't come at all or wouldn't come until there were two people left in the building - "Me and the janitor."

No matter how many people were left in the audience, Mac would get on stage and do his routine. The hard work literally paid off in 1990, when he won $3,000 in a local comedy contest. At the time, he was working as a sales rep for Wonder Bread, but the more popular he became on the club circuit, the less he wanted to push bread to pay the bills.

On the day before Thanksgiving, his thoughts were consumed by the three standing ovations he'd received the night before. He dumped his entire load of bread at only five stores - "They had bread in the frozen food department, that's how much bread I gave them all" - called his boss and quit.

With his attention fixed on comedy full-time, Mac's career flourished. An appearance on the TV show "Def Comedy Jam" caught the attention of Damon Wayans, who cast him in the movie "Mo' Money." He found regular film and television work after that, usually in small roles, but the part he always felt most comfortable playing was himself.

He likes to tell the story of the night he watched from the wings as Flip Wilson bombed in front of a club audience. As Wilson's jokes failed, someone in the audience yelled, "Do Geraldine!" Wilson reached into his coat, donned the wig he used to wear as the most famous character from his variety show, and said, "Y'all want to see Geraldine? You got her, honey!"

The Geraldine bit drew laughter and applause, and Wilson quickly got off stage. Mac approached him and told him how great he was.

"You thought so?" Wilson asked, holding up the wig. "This bitch got more laughs than I did."

While the Bernie Mac who appears on stage is an exaggerated, angrier version of the real thing, he's still Bernie Mac, and most of the stories he tells in his act have roots in Bernie Mac's life.

His most famous routine, and the one that serves as the basis for the sitcom, has Mac becoming the guardian to his junkie sister's three kids. In reality, the story is a blend of two real incidents: Mac briefly took in his gang-banging niece Toya and her daughter Monique; while a friend of his had to raise her junkie sister's children long-term.

"My sister's really mad at me to this day, because people think it's her (in the act)," he says.

Mac refined his material, always walking the knife edge between comedy and tragedy, and in 1997 he teamed up with Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric the Entertainer to form the Original Kings, a traveling revue that, with scant press attention, became the highest-grossing comedy tour of all time and inspired a hit movie version in 2000 directed by Spike Lee.

In the movie, like most nights on the tour, Mac was given the honor of the closing spot, a testament to the power of his material and the fact that nobody wanted to go on after him. While his three partners all had TV shows at the time, it was always Mac's politically incorrect material that audiences came away talking about.

In addition to the stories about his "sister" and her kids, the jokes covered Mac's desire to bring back capital punishment ("I'll kick my kid in his sleep," he joked) and the ubiquity of a particular swear word in black culture.

At one point, he joked that people in the TV business were "afraid" to give him a series, a comment that caught the attention of comic/producer Larry Wilmore ("The PJ's"), who after laughing hysterically at "Kings" desperately wanted to do a series with Mac.

Mac and Wilmore, who had met on the set of the Eddie Murphy movie "Life," set about adapting Mac's old-school family values into a series for Fox: "Bernie Mac," the best black family sitcom since "The Cosby Show" and one of the most innovative, appealing sitcoms of any color in recent years.

In every episode, Bernie tells his troubles to the unseen audience - "America, you see what these kids put me through?" - an idea adapted from the way Wilmore saw Mac speak to his stand-up audience.

"He really treated the audience like they were in his living room and talked to him like they were his family," Wilmore says. "As far as Bernie's concerned, the audience is family. They're not even guests in his house. They're more family than the kids."

The show has been one of the few bright spots in a rough television season, and Fox executives have been so pleased with its performance that they gave Mac and Wilmore permission to literally take the show on the road for the season finale, a one-hour episode that will be filmed on location in Mac's hometown.

Mac recently made another big-screen splash as one of the thieves in "Ocean's Eleven" - the scene where he complains that blackjack should be called "whitejack" often gets the biggest laugh in the film - and has released a book, "I Ain't Scared of You: Bernie Mac on How Life Is." He thinks his long climb to the top has prepared him for the tough task of staying there.

"I want to come in every week, every single week, and I want to show you all that Bernie Mac is not a fluke. And I mean that. And I'm gonna show you that."

Alan Sepinwall can be reached at asepinwall@starledger.com. Please include your full name and hometown info.

See more in Alan Sepinwall

Walk In My Life

2008-08-06T19:03:00.004-04:00

Walk in my life.mp3 - Chan

So I picked random songs (Thanks TC for schooling me on Imeem) I am just going to drop them here and there..this is called, "Walk In My Life," it was produced by my friend Daneja and though I never thought it was one of the "BEST," I always thought it was something I needed to say....

Enjoy...

negative and positive feedback is great.

#$%!@!!!!!

2008-08-06T01:31:00.003-04:00

Have you ever walked into a wall?
Not in the physical sense but mentally...or emotionally walked into a wall?
Forget it let's talk physically have you walked into a wall??
You feel dumb, and on top of it all it hurts!

Shit's not cool...

So tell me why, no matter how many times I've walked into this wall....when he called I walked head first into the same fucking wall?

More on this to come.

PS can someone tell me how I can post songs on my blog I wanna preview different ones each post and get feedback but honestly I don't know how....

Thx.

I GOT THESE!

2008-08-02T22:04:00.004-04:00

So today I bought these...the Nike "Nikebook" Dunks.

They look exactly like a composition book sorry the pic doesn't do them justice. But considering I write my raps either in my sidekick, on my laptop, or in a notebook exactly like this I figured these are my perfect match lol the look like me!

My Sk Slizzii didn't really show a clear pic, so I got these pics from the website only DIFFERENCE is my are low tops these are high but you get the effect..

I've also come to a grueling decision......

I am getting a new cellphone...yes I have been with Tmobile since they were Powertel then Voicestream then Tmobile, and yes I have had the SK1 Sk2 Sk3 and the Sk Slizzzziii which I am in love with...unfotunately I fallen head over heals for someone else....

So thanks to my high friends in low places I got the phone I want and the plan I want with no deposits or fees lol. So when my contract is up in September after a long relationship starting when my mom first handed me my prepaid phone, that I promptly traded for a better phone....and then the sk1 I will now be

moving.

This is who's stolen my heart. The LG VU from AT&T I love him and he loves me and for him I will leave the Sk Slizzi.....

Ugh.

While I was off....

2008-07-30T14:43:00.007-04:00

I think I caught this on Eb the Celeb Blog, I am not sure...but I am going to give her the credit for right now. I sat and watched this today on my off day with my babes. The movie is called, "Cover Up," and it's amazing. I refuse to tell you the plot because it's that good.

PS Read my previous post/new poem....what do you think of it?

Thanx

When I grow up...

2008-07-29T18:55:00.000-04:00

When I grow up I want to leave mental footprints
Down the spine of your soul

I want to breath liquid thoughts
Into the glass that is you

I'd like paint pictures of happiness in your future
with long brush strokes

Dipping your brush into my vibrant colors of paint
Until we wash the canvas with the beauty that is us....

But all that will have to wait...until I grow up..

Dopeness in a bottle

2008-07-25T11:31:00.000-04:00

The Dopest Line ever...

"Our ignorance in the same breath as our innocence-CeeLo"

I was flipping through my SK Slizzi MP3 player, just trying to get in the mood to write when I came across Common, do you know what dope is? Dope in a bottle is Common!

I'm not in love with him....but if I could pour liquid thoughts of mental reflection in my soul, it would be from the glass of Common (Don't act brand new about that line my writing is still there..lol) He's just that elequent lyrical beast that I'd most like to be compared to....

LMAO..

2008-07-24T08:18:00.002-04:00

I don't know why I found this funny, but I did.
Seriously--I hate to see your a$$ just like anyone else but really come on fines and jail time for this? Seriously people...

Taken from my sis Honey Libra

2008-07-16T22:19:00.001-04:00

I don't usually do Tags…but I like this one…

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

*Ed. Note I picked the lines that appealed to me and put them under each song..

Justin Nozuka "After Tonight"

I know that after tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

No, No, No, No

I know by the end of tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

I know that if the love is alright

You won't have to look up at the starts

No, No, No, No

I know by the end of tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

I love that joint! His voice is sultry and he plays an acoustic guitar *classic*

Mario "Lay in My Bed"

I don't wanna fight, I would rather kiss you

Come into this room, baby

Let me show you how I miss you

What I gotta do to show you that I need you

Baby, I'm back, do what you want me to

Please spend the night

I wanna make this right

So what you leaving for? (leaving for)

Shawty close that door

We oughta be making love instead of breaking up

Come on, baby, let me show you I'm for real

Lay in my bed

One of the realest tracks I have ever listened to, those are words I have whispered before…I don't wanna fight, I would rather kiss you mannnnnnn!

Usher "Moving Mountains"

….Lately I've been sleeping with a ghost

My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold

That was before the great depression kicked in and rocked

And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us

I told you to leave but you lied to me

When you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back

I know sorrys just wouldn't do it

My hear it obliterated, Im just trying to travel through it

But it's like moving mountains…

For some reason I relate to that song.

New Edition "Can you Stand the Rain"
on a perfect day i know that i can count on you. when that's not possible tell
me can you weather the storm?
cause i need some body who will stand by me through the good times and the bad
times she will always, always be right there.
sunny days everybody loves them tell me baby can you stand the rain?

storms will come this we know for sure(this we know for sure) can you stand the rain?

*Classic* nuff said

Ralph Tresvant "Never Noticed"

Every since you went away living hasn't the been the same..

Never noticed how much I love you

Til the day you said goodbye for good

If I knew what I know now now my love…

I'm just thinkin' about it…

This was an incredibly slept on album. It was Called Rizzwafair and it was hotness. Plus I used to want to marry this guy.

Monica "With You"

So play me a melody
No matter what you find
Somethin' to roll to, somethin' to ease my mind
Just play me a melody
No matter what you find
Somethin' to roll to, when we're chillin' in your ride
Cause I love (I love) kickin' it with you
Me and you, gettin' it on
So baby, slide a tape in boy
You know, to play our song
Chillin', ridin' to the music
Laid back low, when I'm with you
When I'm with you

Monica's voice on this is so sultry. I think it's a mellow light the candles hang with the dude type song.

Alicia Keys "Diary"

Lay your head on my pillow
Here you can be yourself
No one has to know what you are feeling
No one but me and you
I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep your secrets
Just think of me as the pages in your diary

Feels like my life coming out of her mouth….

Ha! part 2 found my post saved in my phone!!!

2008-07-15T18:08:00.001-04:00

Ha, found my post which was for Monday in my sidekick slizzzziii whoo!

This weekend I got a much needed break, I was off Saturday and Sunday after consistently working 17 days straight. Of course something had to occur if I'm blogging about it lol..

Friday: I had dinner and drinks with some friends (sounds so sophisticated doesn't it?) It was good conversation, food, drinks, and laughs..I can't complain.

Saturday: I grabbed my laptop, m-audio and me and Champ worked on some material for his new album and I worked on a few beats and some material for my STILL incomplete cd. We got a lot done and finished about...3.

Then my dude came over (highlight of my day!), between his schedule and mine our time together is quite minimal so what did we do during this special one on one time? Fall asleep. He came over we then we fell asleep..until my stomach started growling! Lol not his just mine. So I begged and he got up went to Spaghetti Wherehouse and brought home take out *yummm* and then we.....slept.

Sunday
After a much needed relaxing day I was ready to not only get my Jesus on but to also prepare for the week ahead. During the preparation mom texts me. (Insert happy face my mom can text!) But then I read the message! "Con, can you come home. Your cuzzo was in an accident in Waycross totaled her car, and needs a ride home to NC" I text her back. "Hell no, thanks!" Ugh but my conscious eats at me and I drag my bones out of bed..drive 6 hours to Waycross pick her and her two kids up (one who's 3 and keeps singing twinkle twinkle little star louder than the radio) and her 12 year old crybaby son. We get going on the road and the three year old girl cold cocks her big brother right in the eye. What does he do? Cry...I look at my babes and tell him I can't take it, we pull over at the slowest Burger King ever..I think they actually called the King he came from Burger King Land, slaughtered the animals, and prepared the meals. Sucks but I had to have a veggie burg...and not kill my little cuzzo's while their mom sat in the back and texts away..anyway we drive back, everyone falls asleep except my babes who's doing random things to keep me awake...and after 6 hours I make it back to my beautiful, ugly, city, Atlanta at 7:57a with enough time to kiss my babes, watch him leave , (thank God PT was optional today... ) shower, and get to work..to type this...

Somehow in my exhaustion I'm thinking this is going to be a long week.

Ugh Kick Rocks!

$@%)*#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-15T11:44:00.002-04:00

That title represents how annoyed I am! ugh, I posted all about my weekend and it was erased by the Blogger demon. Damn it! I don't even feel like updating...I have to go to work at 2 which sucks...so maybe I will re-type it then.

For now I am a lazy bum and I thinking...hey...at least it's NOT Monday.

I Told You Tom Gurl!

2008-07-12T17:28:00.001-04:00

I told you I would blog more Tom Gurl!

Life has been consistently inconsistent for me as usual, my birthday was ok. I have been hard at work (not) on my cd. I've been working or (not) working on my Cd for about a year. Why am I still at a standstill? I guess because it's my child…my baby. I am giving birth to my creativity and letting it bare my soul naked... That's a little scary. I actually decided to put myself on a deadline. So hopefully it will work well for me, wish me luck. Two blogs in the same week…I told you Tom Gurl.

Kick Rocks!

A.P.T. Song - Obama Obama (Lil Wayne

2008-07-08T11:22:00.001-04:00

I am a huge Obama supporter, not because he is Black, but because I agree it is time for a change.

I think I am going to blog more......thanks for the birthday wishes I love you guys...and guess what?? I mean it this time..I am going to blog more.

How come...

2008-06-26T17:37:00.000-04:00

Random Thoughts From The Desk (Ok Sidekick) of Con Inc..

* How come after you're freshly showered and clean it's more apparent when someone else is smelly.

* How come I got friends who forget to call me during the goodtimes, but I carry them during their bad?

* How come this dude does not smell himself?

*How come this lil kid got a "scoop" hair cut.

* How come I saw TI out and about and he like my height...ok taller than me but not by much.

* How come Steve Harvey cracks me the hell up??

* How come Holcomb Bridge Park is waaaay away from me but rocks!

*How come this dude pit hairs next to me makes me want to braid them?

*How come my birthday Sunday and I know I will top last year because the celebration starts tomorrow bitches!

Whoever says....

2008-06-18T21:01:00.003-04:00

You can't find everything in your local Winn Dixie is a mo fo liar. If you've never seen Krush Groove you don't know what you're missing...Sheila E, Run Dmc, Fat Boys, New Edition, YOUNG LL COOL J, Kurtis Blow....whats hip hop? THIS MOVIE!

Then End was the biggest cypher...

me singing...Krush Grooooovin.....

Learn the words step your game up

Fly pics...

2008-06-11T15:17:00.001-04:00

I love colorful & different pics...I dont know what it is but I love a good picture. Below are some hot ones I saw this week of Angela Simmons, NERD, and Nas...Enjoy

So um.....you voting?

2008-06-05T08:48:00.002-04:00

This is quite politically humorous...

drops mic...

The Ducks Lackey....

2008-05-22T20:51:00.000-04:00

Man it's been a minute since I updated, so! Maybe I wanted to leave you cliff hanging!

Anyway-my new job is cool no complaints thus far. All the people are even amazing.

Now the recap on the Duck's Lackey The T.R to come later...

First at the duck's HQ we all signed a "Ethics form," for those of you not familar, an Ethics form is a form that basically says I rep the duck and I will behave myself. So, when I moved to Atlanta and began working under the Lackey I expected the same respect. For the most part I got it...however once the lackey began dating his female counterpart she didn't care for me. Looking back I wonder did the fact that his fiance like me cause a problem? Or maybe it could be that she ( the female lackey) spews Bible quotes and proclaims Christian but sleeps w/an engaged man? Idk either way she did her best to sh!t on me. But you can't out hate a hater... My mom always said don't fight even...fight to win. So after weeks of crap, I went in on a Sunday completed my work so I left no shoe untied no I undotted and then I quit, but first I called my moms BFF who's a very high person in the Duck's HQ's and explained the situation. AT (my moms friend) took care of it and a week before Employee appreciation he was demoted. What's funny is, I've always believed that if you mess w/someone sinner or saint if they believe in God, and have a strong religous or spiritual beliefs then you're f*cked. I mean the Bible does say touch not mine annointed ones right? How does that play in? Well the lackey's whore advised him to get a camera in the office to watch me since he's gone often. Then they had sex in the same office, when it came time to "prove," he was being unethical, the tape itself told. And since he was working on closing a huge account, Coca Cola...they no longer want to work with him..which ultimately cost him and the Duck Millions... Funny how that worked out huh?

Kick Rocks.

Stay tuned..no time to chat right now

2008-05-12T22:52:00.003-04:00

Omg so much happened in a week.. I am too lazy to update but here's the briefing....

-Walked out of my job. Never done anything like that before but it was time for a change, there's only so much abuse you can take. Also reported the Duck's lackey to the Duck's Headquarters and wow...change actually happened. Long story short-he's been demoted.

-The T.R. for those who frequent my blog...(TR-Trifling roommate) the first one you know the slore...aka cumbucket man I got a story about my weekend adventure involving her. LOL. But again not now children....

-Started a new job within 3 days of leaving my job........feeling good feeling great.

So for the most part...life is moving.....and I am moving with it.

Crazy Girl On Train.

2008-05-08T21:03:00.003-04:00

NO WORDS..

DOPE!

2008-05-06T08:49:00.004-04:00

Dopest thing I've seen in a long time. I WANT THIS.

UGH!

2008-05-05T23:29:00.001-04:00

I am sitting here watching CSI MIAMI and it was the Kandi Alexander's last show. She is not on the new ones anymore. I quit this show...ok wait I love Horatio too. Ugh I am torn between my loyalty!

WAIT!! WAIT!! WAIT!!

2008-04-29T08:18:00.002-04:00

*NO NAMES WILL BE WITHHELD SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THE GUILTY PARTY IS!*
KICK ROCKS SNITCHES

So on Saturday I was home in Columbus, GA visiting some family. My mother and I went to the RITE AID ON MACON RD formerly CVS & Eckerds---you KNOW THE ONE RIGHT ACROSS FROM BREWSTER’S ICE CREAM!!! I am strolling down the toy aisle as I tend to do, wondering should I get the game of “Life” and whoop my little brother’s a$$ ….but at $24.99 I opted not to. So I continue down the aisle reading the magazines (yep I am the one who reads them before I buy them lol). I drop the magazines and move over to the color books, anyone who knows me, knows I am obsessed with coloring.

So I pick up a few hot new coloring books when I spot it….who in the hell told Crayola to create 96 CRAYONS WITH A SHARPENER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell??? I am sitting here thinking my sh!t don’t stink because I got the 64 WITH the sharpener in the back and low and behold I have been bamboozled, hijacked, shanked in the side!!!! What the hell???? 32 more crayons than I have ever seen? OMG, I am devastated…. I run back to the pharmacy where my mom is and show her---I then proceed to walk around the entire store trying to figure out how this travesty occurred. Looking, comparing, and analyzing which crayons I don’t have. Ugh, I am devastated. Okay and maybe it isnt RITE AIDS FAULT...BUT FOR NOW THEY TAKE THE BLAME STUPID HEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drops Mic I am pissed.

Monday Addictions....

2008-04-28T16:04:00.005-04:00

It seems like with gas prices I should be less addicted...but I am not. I copped both pairs of these this weekend. The lower ones are the Nike Women's Pinstripe Blazer OMG their fly!!!! Yessir I still say Fly. The above ones are the Nike Blazer Plaid edition...I really wanted the Nike Blazer High Lemon Frost----but them shits was too high however they are still beautiful.

WELCOME TO 2008

2008-04-25T09:45:00.002-04:00

Police not guilty in groom's death

NEW YORK (CNN) -- A judge acquitted three New York Police Department detectives of all charges Friday morning in the shooting death of an unarmed man in a 50-bullet barrage, hours before he was to be married.

Detectives Michael Oliver and Gescard Isnora were found not guilty of charges of manslaughter, assault and reckless endangerment in the death of Sean Bell, 23, and the wounding of two of his friends.

Detective Marc Cooper was acquitted of reckless endangerment.

Justice Arthur Cooperman said he found problems with the prosecution's case. He said some prosecution witnesses contradicted themselves, and he cited prior convictions and incarcerations of witnesses.

He also cited the demeanor of some witnesses on the stand.

As the judge read his decision, Nicole Paultre Bell -- Sean Bell's fiancee before his death -- ran from the courtroom, saying, "I've got to get out of here."

The announcement immediately sparked anger among some in the crowd outside the courthouse.

The Rev. Al Sharpton called for calm Wednesday. He was accompanied by Bell's fiancee and other supporters on the steps of City Hall.

Bell, 23, was killed just before dawn on his wedding day, November 25, 2006. He and several friends were winding up an all-night bachelor party at the Kalua Club in Queens, a strip club that was under investigation by a NYPD undercover unit looking into complaints of guns, drugs and prostitution.

Undercover detectives were inside the club, and plain-clothes officers were stationed outside.

Witnesses said that about 4 a.m., closing time, as Bell and his friends left the club, an argument broke out. Believing that one of Bell's friends, Joseph Guzman, was going to get a gun from Bell's car, one of the undercover detectives followed the men and called for backup.

What happened next was at the heart of the trial, prosecuted by the assistant district attorney in Queens.

Bell, Guzman and Trent Benefield got into the car, with Bell at the wheel. The detectives drew their weapons, said Guzman and Benefield, who testified that they never heard the plain-clothes detectives identify themselves as police.

Bell was in a panic to get away from the armed men, his friends testified.

But the detectives thought Bell was trying to run down one of them, according to their lawyers, believed that their lives were in danger and started shooting.

In a frantic 911 call, police can be heard saying, "Shots fired. Undercover units involved."

A total of 50 bullets were fired by five NYPD officers. Only three were charged with crimes.

Oliver, who reloaded his semiautomatic in the middle of the fray, fired 31 times, Isnora fired 11 times, and Cooper, whose leg was brushed by Bell's moving car, fired four times, the NYPD said.

No gun was found near Bell or his friends.

Soon after his death, Bell's fiancee, Nicole Paultre, legally changed her name to Nicole Paultre Bell. She is now raising the couple's two daughters, ages 5 and 1.

"I tell [them] that Daddy's in heaven now," she said. "He's watching over us. He's our guardian angel. He's going to be here to protect us and make sure nothing happens to us."

Detectives Endowment Association President Michael Palladino said forensic and scientific evidence presented during the seven-week trial contradicts the testimony of prosecution witnesses.

But Paultre Bell's father, Lester Paultre, said, "For those naysayers who say the police was doing their job, they should imagine their child in that car being shot by the police for no reason."

Paultre Bell, Guzman and Benefield have filed a wrongful-death lawsuit in federal court that has been stayed pending the outcome of the criminal trial. Guzman was shot 16 times, and four bullets, too dangerous to remove, remain in his body, according to his lawyer, Sanford Rubenstein.

Federal prosecutors in the Eastern District of New York have been monitoring the trial. In the event of an acquittal, it is likely authorities would conduct a review to determine whether there were any civil rights violations. All three victims were African-American

What is Music to me?

2008-04-15T21:09:00.006-04:00

Music is

My Love
My Pain
My Hustle
My Struggle
My Success
My Downfall
My Happiness
My Stress
My Structure
My Breakdown
My Savior
My Corruption
My Faith
My Atheist
My Heaven
My Hell
My Glory
My Fall
My Story
My Fiction
My Water
My Dehydration
My Air
My Last Breathe
My LifeMy Death
My Dedication
My Impatience
My Ambition
My Procrastination

Everything I go thru to be where I wanna be the struggle is worth it....

Oh yeah some people wanted to see the pics from the Jay Z concert, I am too lazy to post them but you can look on www.myspace.com/chanakacdot and they are there.

Heart Of The City....

2008-04-09T09:23:00.004-04:00

"I'm taking out this time
To give you a piece of my mind
Who do you think you are
Baby one day you'll be a star
But until the last day, I'm the one who's crazy
'Cause that's the way you making me feel (can't knock the hustle)
I don't want no romance, I just want the chance
Can't knock the hustle for real"- Jay-Z featuring Mary J. Blige Can't Knock the Hustle

So I spent my Saturday in Greensboro-enjoying the "Heart Of The City Tour," I will be the first to admit I am not the biggest Mary fan, I mean I used to be. But I kinda fell off, I can easily admit that. Anyway---the concert has completely restored my faith in her. Both Mary and Jay killlllllled it. The set opened with them on a screen each talking about the others impact on music--then they both appeared simultaneously performing, "Can't knock the Hustle," Mary shouts Jay & B out with the congratulations and Jay exits stage left. Mary then performs a pleather yes I said pleather of her old hits---You're all I need, No More Drama, I am Going Down, and the list goes on and on.....She then does Real Love and Hov comes out and does Nice (from Nice and Smooth's) rap Clas---sick!

Jay comes out and does he set---and murders it. Memphis Bleek joins him on stage (I've always been a Bleek fan) hands down...overall good show. One problem- no camera's were allowed and they searched you to make sure you didn't bring in a cam. So two of my friends had to go all the way back to the car to put away camera's. Did I have a cam? Guess they didn't search hard enough huh....

You see the pics and if u got me on myspace YOU SEE THE PICS. KICK ROCKS I'M MY OWN PAPARAZZI

Anywho Happy Hump Day Homies.

Monday

2008-03-31T08:16:00.004-04:00

Monday's are always really busy and I am too tired when I get home to update..

RIP Sean Levert

CLEVLAND -- Sean Levert, the younger brother of R&B singer Gerald Levert and son of Eddie Levert of the O'Jays, died late Sunday night. Levert, 39, died at 11:57 p.m. at Lutheran Hospital after being transported to the facility from the Cuyahoga County Jail. Sean Levert had gone to the jail infirmary complaining he was sick. It was in November that Sean Levert started singing again. He talked with NewsChannel5 about finishing a project -- bringing the group back together -- that his brother started. Gerald Levert died Nov. 10, 2006. He was found dead in his bed at his Newbury home."Sometimes I'll have my moments, but right now I think I'm in a happier stage thinking about the good times we had together," Sean Levert had said.Gerald Levert started his career as the lead singer of the R&B trio Levert before pursuing a solo career.

LMAO

2008-03-26T19:54:00.001-04:00

This is hilarious.....

2008-03-21T08:16:00.003-04:00

"Good Friday is observed on the Friday before Easter Sunday. On this day Christians commemorate the passion, or suffering, and death on the cross of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Many Christians spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance, and meditation on the agony and suffering of Christ on the cross."

Dear God,

It’s been a long time since we talked and I know that I haven’t been the model “Saint,” but…then again how can I say “but” to you. You know what I’ve done…what I haven’t done. Please forgive me. I can be a lot of things, but a liar I am not. So if I say I am going to try harder that’s probably a lie so rather I will say I will try harder to at least “try.”

I decided on this day to take a moment to reflect, although our headquarters in Columbus is officially closed, and all states offices are closed, I work for a regional office and guess what? We’re open. But you know what? I am so thankful I at least have a job. Thank you for that.

It seems lately I have had so many trials and tribulations, school has been a financial drain, I guess it doesn’t pay to want something more in life. I continuously tell myself LUKE 6:21 in fact I thought of tattooing that somewhere just to remind myself that there is something coming for me and I will not be broken. Last week-I felt broken. I felt like why me. I was pushed to my limit..I fell…but determination led me to continue to crawl…I was pushed over and I was down….thank you for carrying me.

Sometimes I feel like I am a glutton for punishment, recently, you’ve shown me that isn’t true. I am not a glutton for punishment. More so I am destined for greatness I decided to read the bible more. And that’s when you showed me that I was wrong. Mark 10:31-the last shall be first. Something more important is planned for me, so at this point I must take my time and learn. Pain is growth, growth is change, and change is life...in essence I am living life.

Always,

C.

TWO POSTS...ONE DAY

2008-03-20T00:06:00.004-04:00

*Insert Confused Pissed Look Here* Damn I wish I had that face Tam uses and I am too lazy to copy and paste it....

Question----Did "he," just leave his shit on my nightstand?

Is that like a calling card????

*Rolls eyes...tonight was such a waste of time. I could have had a friggin V-8*

Drops Mic...

(This will probably say Thursday...but since I havent slept yet....2 post one day)

Kick Rocks.

Side note---this is the DOPEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN ASIDE FROM HER VIDEO!

How We Met

2008-03-19T09:57:00.004-04:00

I know I said Tuesday.....sue me.

I met this girl, when I was ten years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me
On the regular, not a church girl she was secular
Not about the money, no studs was mic checkin her-Common “I used to love Her”

When I was 10 years old my family was stationed in Ft. Bliss Texas. One of my aunts whom I will call Beau”T”y because of her love for fashion and ability to create one of kind outfits for us, came to live with us. Although at the time I was 10 she and I were very close, as my stepfather is much older than all of his siblings. (She’s only about 9 or 10 years older than me.) Anyway, she met this guy who was a dj and the three of became inseparable. She used to take me to all the little house parties, she actually introduced me to Slick Rick, Scarface-as a solo artist, Mc Hammer, Common, just a mass variety of music that I honestly had no clue about at 10 years old.

I remember the first house party she took me too, I felt so fly. She had made me these custom “Hammer Pants,” they were white and had black music notes and clef notes all over them. Man I was hot. Ft. Bliss is actually near the Mexican border so all the Mexican kids were always hanging around near Base and man they were diggin’ my threads lol. So anyway, we get to the party and it’s like my eyes were opened to something I have never seen before in my life. No black, no white, just music.

Mr. Dj takes Beauty and I up to the Dj area. I was amazed. My aunt proceeded to hit the dance floor. But me, I wanted to see him work. He told me:

“ these are technics two 1200 and this thing in the middle is the brain..the mixer. If anyone ever tells you to buy something else, don’t listen. Go get a chair, and sit here.”

He plugged in a spare set of headphones and I proceeded to learn how to make love to a crowd. That was my first hit and instantly I was an addict. Weeks went on and I went with Beauty and Dj to all kinds of parties at the YAC (youth activity center), and anywhere else. He taught me how to mix, how to match beats, even made me carry equipment because if I dj’d one day…I would have to learn to carry own stuff. No one is going to do it for me. He even got me my first set of tables and a mixer the Gemini’s they sucked a$$ but what do you expect for 99.99 he got the mixer, tables, and headphones, all in one box but he told me if I wanted to learn I had to crawl then walk. (This is the exact set up, although it's in storage..I still have it.)

A few months past, and by now I am dj’ing and I loved it. Dj-had taught me so much except that life sometimes isn’t always as it appears. Despite being a soldier he was also a drug dealer and got caught up in some things that resulted in him doing 20 years in prison…me and my aunt went to court everyday that summer to support him. When the judge said 20 years with no parole. I was devastated. A few weeks past and his brother came by our house. He handed my aunt a letter and told me he had a package. It was the Technic 1200’s and the brain and a note, looks like I won’t be using these for a while. I still use those 12’s to this day and I always remember…how we met.

Mondays Suck I will update Tuesday

2008-03-17T19:21:00.001-04:00

LMAO!!!

I am...

2008-03-11T10:16:00.000-04:00

Seriously debating..........

RIP GIZMO

2008-03-04T09:04:00.003-05:00

Today my mom informed me that she let my beloved Gizmo out and she was hit by a car. I am devasted.

RIP GIZMO.

Monday Morning Blues

2008-02-25T13:54:00.004-05:00

On 02/10/2008 my beloved Sidekick 3 was killed in a fatal car accident. I have been so completely devastated. I mean how do you replace something that was so near and dear to your heart?? My most accomplished moments were captured on its sweet little 1.3 Megapixel eye… Not to mention all of our sweetest melodies were relaxed on a sweet 2gig SD card. *SIGH* Alas our love affair is over…. I called the coroner (Asurion) to report his death….Surely they could not replace him. No…I cannot bare to touch another SK3’s keys…the pain would just be too much. Alas….the representative feeble attempts to console me are brightened when I hear….ma’am…we offer you a brand new SK SLIDE….Hmmm look at it's beauty...it's sleeker than my previous love, the screen is so much more vivid...my micro sd fits snug inside it's belly...*gasp* the melodies are back. They vision impaired eye shows my accomplished moments (aka random shots of me doing nothing, eating something, or taking a picture in the inside of my pocket because I forgot to keyguard...) Oh how my hope has been restored in the world again.

RIP SK3 we had a great run....06/28/2006-02-10/2008

Welcome to the family Sidekick Slide

Well ok...

2008-02-21T12:11:00.002-05:00

I don't know if you can see the pic but Britney is almost platinum....almost 1million sold....

That's all I have to say today.

I am....So hip hop...

2008-02-20T09:30:00.008-05:00

I bought these shirts....ya dig?

I notice I only really update/post on Thursdays now...so real update tomorrow I guess lol.

By the way I got the shirts from: http://www.radiofuturamusic.com stop by and show them some support.

C.

So about hip hop being dead.....(let's see how this goes)

2008-02-07T13:03:00.000-05:00

I decided to address the hip hop is dead post. I got a million text opinions etc…
Since this is my soap box screw it.

My opinion…

*Kicks off Nikes leans back in chair and daydreams……. *

Is hip hop dead? I don’t know, the love and respect for the culture just may be. Remember when everything you did or said was hip hop?? When you dressed like a B-boy or B-girl, your shoes had phat fly laces….you used the word “fly…” Battling on the mic was like the Superbowl… breakdancing in the middle of the street at night was fresh… When Common Used to love her, Tribe Called Quest-Left their Wallet in the El Segundo, LONS (leaders of the new school), had a Scenario and Busta was his most animated? When all people wanted was…to be heard?

Flava Flav was on some other shit…not some “other shit like Briget Nielsen other shit..” BUT SOME OTHER SHIT OTHER SHIT…some fight the power, get off your ass type shit…

Every other topic wasn’t about killin’ or money because the essence of the whole culture was beyond that?! So what if I am broke with no car I am on the bus with a dollar, a record, and a damn dream.

I know this Dj, he’s been dj’ing longer than I’ve been on the planet. He tells me amazing stories about how when he lived in the Bronx, they used to plug their equipment into a light pole get on a roof and just party. Do that now and someone is liable to get killed…

Is hip hop dead?? I doubt it…but it may be on serious life support.. will my mixtape influence any of that? I don't know...but I am on the marta, with a dollar, a cd, and a damn dream and I just want to be heard.

*drops mic*

2008-01-31T14:36:00.000-05:00

I keep seeing this...

Checks pulse and Blood pressure....

Na...I'm good.

Thoughts on Retiring

2008-01-14T11:29:00.000-05:00

So I figure in a couple years I will be thirty, I have decided...I am retiring. Work can kick rocks...

*Looks around at house.......and bills.....hmmmmmm Or not.*

Resolutions...

2008-01-07T14:26:00.001-05:00

New Years Resolution...

Blog More.. (not really)

Kick Rocks Happy New 365 More Days to get it right people!

2007-12-04T22:07:00.000-05:00

"When you get a chance, put a good word into the Lord for me I been got caught up, got sent to the pen I let ya down, I'm in a place I know you never thought you see me in But all these things is happening for a reason I guess God saved my life and put me up to see another season.."

Pimp C I miss you lyrics...

SEC Championship.....

2007-12-01T21:51:00.000-05:00

So I am a UGA fan...friends are TN fans went to the game...anyway..they lost. I have a million pics but only these two matter. Can TN fans dress or what?

Drops Mic

I have addictions..

2007-11-29T14:53:00.000-05:00

I am addicted to a few things...my sidekick 3, my Optimus 8.0 Mega Pixel camera, shoes, and watches... ode to my new family members.

I won this on Ebay, Ms PacMan Watch!

I won this one online the next day, Pacman-vintage watch!

I saw these Lacoste in New Orleans. But I bought them for $20 cheaper on Zappos.com (shot with my sk3.)

I bought these Nike Air Max30 In New Orleans.

I had these J's when I was in the 9th grade, they came back...I bought them in California few days ago.

I think I have a problem.

I like you...

2007-11-21T08:35:00.001-05:00

Waking up seeing our cars parked in the driveway.

Bourbon St. Blues Company in New Orleans
Cajun Grilled Shrimp and Talapia at Bubba Gumps.
Infamous New Orleans Hurricanes

Bubba Gumps in New Orleans

Subway White Chocolate and Macedamian Nut Cookies...

The Water Crisis is all my fault..

2007-11-20T14:49:00.000-05:00

I take 20-25 minute showers, brush my teeth wih the water running, okay the other day I randomly shot water at a passerby....I am the cause for Lake Lanier's all time low, and Georgia's drought............*so*

Kicks Rocks....Drops mic.

RETURN OF THE (T)RIFLING (R)OOMATE PART 2?????

2007-11-15T10:18:00.001-05:00

Back when I moved into my townhouse, a girl I'd known for some time from school was having some issues. Well since I had this big townhouse, I figured why not let her stay with me for a couple of weeks/months or whatever to get herself together she's cool, into music as well, so she wouldn't be a problem. Plus she can have the basement which means in a three story home we'd rarely see each other anyway.

She moves in all her stuff and we have a heart to heart..okay I know you guys are thinking the hater had a heart to heart—you're right I just sat there and stared into space thinking about random things that make me laugh. Like that cat that shows up when you Google kick rocks lol. Anywho..She moves in all this stuff including a box of brand new baby clothes. WTF? Maybe she is preggers? IDK

Fast forward to present day… she lost her job around late August early September and hasn't been able to contribute to the bills. Did I kick her out? Na, she'd been helping here and there and technically I really didn't KNOW she was unemployed at the time. Any who, she stops paying all together and basically ducking and dodging me.

*Insert Does she not realize I am loco face here*

So I just let her know plain and simple "shawty, you gotta pay or go"

She says I will get the money. But never does, and eventually her grateful attitude becomes---an attitude period, nothing more nothing less. Hmmm. So the other night around 3ish..I hear all this noise, hello I live on the third floor I am not getting out of my bed to see what is going on instead I turn on the camera..yeah shawty we high tech. I see her friends are moving her out. Eh whatever good riddens to bad rubbish. I go back to sleep wake up and realize everything is gone except her clothes and a few miscellaneous items here and there. Again whatever…except she comes home like everything is normal.

*Insert whatdaheckisgoingonaroundhere face*

Anyway, we talk I explain she has to leave she says she knows and will be about the first..NOV 1^st. Needless to say her ALL her clothes etc are still here so what else could I do? I had to let them stay in my living room..

YEAH RIGHT! This me, Con Inc. # 1 hater---chick please. I changed the locks, reprogrammed the garage door openers, put all her clothes in the garage. Shawty you will get your clothes when I get my money. Ha! That even made me laugh!

So now fast forward to Monday 11/12/2007—knock on my door girl with a familiar face but I can't figure out why says—excuse me is TR2 here? Me-No she no longer resides here. Girl starts to cry..WTF? She says look TR2 is my mom WTF? I just want to pick up my daughters clothes? Me-Shawty come in for a minute. Can't have all this drama outside in my lily white neighborhood. These people like me! Now what did you say? Girl proceeds to tell me, she's 16 TR2 is her mother, and she is preggers and wanted to pick up the box of new baby clothes left by TR2.

*Insert dramatic music here*

Turns out the clothes in the closet were not for TR2 who I suspected was preggers but for her Grand daughter..so TR2 is a 29 year old with a 16 year old with a GRANDdaughter on the way who is pursuing a music/acting career/spending most of her time on myspace with no home…..This some Jerry Springer Ish.

PS did I mention TR2 is dating a married man who's wifey came to our house while ol boy was upstairs….er um…Laying pipe?? Or that TR2 is an "up and coming gospel singer" whoooooo weeeeeeeeee.

I am sure there is more to come….

Technology made me spoiled

2007-11-06T16:31:00.001-05:00

I think I am getting spoiled by email. My sidekick 3 died. The mailman delivered it today. It died Sunday. I wanted it back Sunday. Asurion said, we'll have a brand new sidekick to you by Tuesday at 3. I thought I'd die. I think technology has me spoiled..closes laptop

Drops mic.

Life...Pity Whatever..Get Over It..

2007-11-04T19:52:00.000-05:00

You have 5 minutes to wallow in the delicious misery, enjoy it, embrace it, discard it, then proceed with life...

Happy Monday Suckas

Still finding myself...

2007-10-25T08:12:00.000-04:00

I’ve been tryin’ to lose myself all day
Was almost there but could lose you
I push away take the first two steps
Then stop and choke on my regrets
I wish I didn’t know me so well
Ignorance is bliss,
How did we come to this,
I get angry, I keep It in
Then find myself apologizing
My beautiful spin artist
I never knew a one sided war
would be as hard as this..

Snippet from "Finding Myself"-Cd coming soon

Random Monday Thoughts

2007-10-22T11:16:00.001-04:00

It's Monday; I am still finding myself…who knew I was so lost??

But I am amped that SLISHY FOUND ME TOO! (HEY!!!)

Dunkin Donuts-no longer pleases me. HELLO KRISPY KREME!

The gym hates me yet…I still go.

Fridays-Sizzling Shrimp and Chicken is addictive.

I am thinking of becoming a vegetarian I only eat Chicken and Fish anyway…

UGA had a bomb threat….so if the bomb did actually go off would we be able to do anything as GA is under a water crisis right now?

Why the hell are we under a water crisis?

Why did it take me so long to fall in love with Urban Grind Coffee shop?

Why is it Monday? Ugh.

*Drops Mic*

Finding Myself…Losing him

2007-10-12T08:08:00.001-04:00

Damn

Why he have to leave me

Not now

When the eyes of my mind are not able to see by themselves

What did I ever do to deserve this

I couldn't even get 10 words out

Before he dipped

And now I'm sitting here looking at the time

Wondering who, what, when, where, how and why

I always treated him good

Well

At least I thought I did

We were each others first love from back in grade school

When we were kids

You see

I never once lied to him

Well..

There was that one time

But man you gotta understand

That dude was fine

From his head to his feet

And everything in between

Maybe if he had seen what I seen

He would understand

Yeah

I spit a little game

But things between us remained the same

I went home to him that night

And he lined my sight mind and body with gold

And I was able to let my soul

Pour out

And he forgave me

You see…that night

We made love like never before

Making sweet music together until my mind was sore

I mean

Me and him

We fit together better than any couple in life before

Mr. and Mrs. Huxtable

Whitney and Bobby

Snoop and weed

Whenever I had a jones or hunger for anything

he was there to fill my need

Mmmh….just thinking about em'

I can envision his swag sweeping through my thoughts

As he reads them

And I read his, who he nerv

Every article that touches every curve

As he slowly walks

he's the main reason I'm able to talk and express myself

And I just want him to come back

I promise I will never mistreat him again

But without him, I guess this is where it ends…

Wait a minute…

A light just came on in the room

The cloudiness is leaving

And in his arms

My mind is consumed

The torture is now over

Just in time cause I was getting real mad

This was the worst case of writer's block

I ever had

Snippet from a song on Finding Myself

Finding Myself

2007-10-10T11:11:00.001-04:00

One of the hardest things in life I have ever done is step back and evaluate me as a person. A couple of weeks ago, I started doing just that. In the evaluation I discovered. I've lied, cheated, gloated, and many other things that I shouldn't do. I am running this rat race called life and hoping for the best. I am not perfect.

So in my evaluation I sat down and started writing. What may be my 1^st and only cd. Right now I don't know. I think concept albums such as the one I completed but haven't released called, "Two Weeks Notice," are unique and creative. But this CD for me is more profound, this body of work-though only in the writing stages makes me feel like I've finally found my voice. Like I had all of the right words there all along but now, I can finally speak them.

I guess time will tell, right now I am on a journey…

"Finding Myself" my official mixtape coming soon.

*drops mic*

Am I coming up?

2007-10-08T15:52:00.000-04:00

"Finding Myself.."
Coming soon.

MORE ON THAT LATER.

So...I got BET AWARDS SHOW Tix in the mail...am I coming up?

Hmm..

*Drops mic*

Lesson Learned

2007-09-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

So I'm sitting here in my crisp black shirt, creased black khakis, black socks, and black shoes....man I feel the urge to put my fist in the air and spew some intellectual phrase that turns heads or simply implies to the people, "I am somebody." Instead, I just sit and reflect on a few things... one I work for the whitest of whites..yacht owning, lakehouse having, what's Wal-mart individuals that you could meet. So why of all the people in my office is he the one to wear Black today? Should I ask...of course I should.

"Mr Duck Agent, I know why I have on all black today but why do you?"

"C.I...black is black and white is white. Just like wrong is wrong and right is right. I don't have to be black to know that.'

Today's Lesson....

Wrong is Wrong, right is right.... you don't have to be black to know that.

*Kicks Rocks, throws mic*

2007-09-19T13:43:00.001-04:00

I'm going to the first to say I am not the biggest Michael Baisden fan but I do agree with this..

FREE THE JENA 6 ...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... FREE THE JENA SIX
On September 20, 2007 more than 1 million people will wear BLACK as we unite in one voice with one message to declare that UN-EQUAL JUSTICE is just not acceptable. The world will be watching when not just African Americans but people of all races take a stand for something that we all believe in. Mychal Bell and the Jena Six should be free. If you have not heard about their case and why these average teenagers, good students, great athletes and are now fighting for their lives (one student Mychal Bell has been in jail since Dec. 2006) please CLICK HERE NOW to view this video for the shock of your life and on any of the links below for more information. This is clearly a case of racism, but Michael Baisden reminds us the protest in Jena, LA, the US and around the world is not an attack on white people but against a system that has failed us all. It is not about black and white but about what is wrong and what is right!
Enough is Enough...Un-Equal Justice is just not acceptable! ..Wear Black on September 20th to show your support!

RALLY & MARCH FOR PEACE AND JUSTICE
DATE: SEPTEMBER 20, 2007LOCATION: JENA, LA

WHAT TO WEAR: BLACK

SCHEDULE:* ---

7:00am Protesters assemble at Ward 10 Recreation Park---

7:30am March to the steps of the LaSalle Parish Courthouse---

8:00am Prayers / Speakers front of the Courthouse---

9:00am Sentencing for Mychal Bell---

11:00am March to Park / Rally in Support of Mychal Bell & the Jena 6---

2:00pm Adjournment ---

4:00pm Town Hall Meeting on "Quality Education without Fear or Intimidation" C-Span*

Schedule is tentative and subject to change based on sentencing time

FOR MORE INFORMATION CLICK ON ANY LINK BELOW:
- Latest Updates- About The Jena Six - More Facts on The Jena Six Case- Bus Information - Hotels in the Area- Daily updates LIVE on The Michael Baisden Show- Sign the Petition [to Justice Department]- Sign the Petition [Louisiana Governor]- Video Clips- Latest News Stories- Timeline / Slideshow / More Photo's- Organizations- Press- Make a Donation- Democracy Now- Contact Your Congressman- Local Marches around the US and The World- Discussion Forum- Send Mychal Bell a letter of encouragement- Register to Vote

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN PROTEST FROM ANYWHERE:
1 Wear BLACK on September 20th to protest Un-Equal Justice wherever you are

2 Register to Vote to make your voice heard beyond today

3 Sign the Petitions above

4 Email government officials

5 Call government officials

6 Tell your friends and co-workers to do the same

How come pic edition!

2007-09-13T08:12:00.000-04:00

How come when I Google Kick Rocks and this pic appears? HA HA HA

How come Gizmo G. Sandford got the fresh cut and because she plays in mud all her hair is gone!?How come they let someone sit in the board room and say, "Poppycock..." yeah that's the name to go with????
How come only 49 flavors?

How come thats all I have to say......*done* drops mic.

Stay tuned..I got some off days...and some real posts coming..

I'm back suckas.

When is enough, enough.....?

2007-08-22T11:47:00.001-04:00

*Disclaimer-This is completely my opinion, my voice, my blog, my soap box. I do not give a damn if you agree or disagree on this one. Please feel free to kick rocks. Thank you and God Bless

–Management-

He was my friend, I met him my first quarter of college. He was a good guy. Quiet but extremely talented. I mean extremely talented. One of the types that you want to know, you're attracted to them because of their disposition, their determination, their will to be something more than what they are. Not because you want to sleep with them per say.

I was attracted to his mind; we just connected like we met before. He was a graphic design major. He made this incredible cartoon and asked me to make the score to it... I did and that's really how we met. I actually thought about posting the score here but decided not to. Maybe I will post the song one day. It's not a rap or anything but some of the best production work I'd ever done. Maybe God knew.

Anyway, he committed suicide 08/20/2007-because of various issues, the biggest issue being financial aid. He and I are in the same boat. Trying to figure out how you are going to make it. Doing all the right things but finding life just doesn't want to play fair. So tell me when is enough enough? I called my Bishop and talked to him, because I had to ask… (And before you religious heads preach me a sermon in comments…I don't want to hear it. I value comments but I do not need you preaching to me or obscuring blasphemous facts at me.) Anyway I asked-if God puts no more on you than you can bear-and he knows that this weight he is handing you will result in you ultimately committing suicide which will result in you going to hell then please explain to me the logic—I am not questioning you God. I am just trying to understand. And another question, how do we go to a funeral in which the preacher will say something cliché such he is in a better place, or God took him home…when technically he's in hell. *I'm confused*

Based on my own research I came up with these (my opinion is represented in bold italics):

(1 Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV) [16] Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? [17] If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. (So doesn't this mean if you kill yourself then God will destroy you i.e send you to hell? Surely it doesn't mean destroy my temple and I will meet you in Heaven for a reward.)

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV) [19] Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (Okay this one doesn't really say kill yourself and I am coming for you homie… but again temple of the Holy Spirit…)

(Romans 14:79 NIV) [7] For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. [8] If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. [9] For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. (Confusion..so if we live, we live to the Lord and if we die, we die to the Lord-suicide included?)

But then I went to another blog…a Christian Blog that I will not name and I saw this posted by a minister:

"There are many scriptures that condemn murder. But I have yet to find one that explicitly (or implicitly) states that "suicide is murder".
While suicide is tragic, I have never yet found any scripture that explicitly condemns it."

I guess I am just wondered because-as my mother said. I have always been "stuck in my ways," right or wrong. So my friend, I will miss but I cannot sit in his funeral filled with Blasphemous thoughts. My Bishop once delivered the Eulogy for a guy who killed a guy and he never once said this murderer is going to hell rather he spoke to the youth in the building and said let this be an example to you. I guess right now all this just doesn't sit well with me and I am not sure how to respond.

*Drops Mic*

10 Blantantly Honest Facts about..."I"

2007-08-16T12:02:00.000-04:00

*I chose the name consistently inconsistent and the reason I chose that name is because it describes me perfect. On Monday’s I could be up and Tuesday down..in fact Monday morning I could be up and Monday afternoon I could be down. I am indeed Consistently Inconsistent. I am my mother’s second child. But first born. She had two miscarriages prior to me. So what does that say? I was born to be a survivor.

*I love music..I hate music. I am hip hop…I am not hip hop. Though none of this may make sense to you it completely makes sense to me. I want to be the different but I am completely like all of you.

*I am my father’s child but not my father’s child…
I guess that’s an easy one. I have a stepfather and as much as we don’t get along. I am him in every aspect. I am in part fearless—I feel like as a soldier he was fearless. But at the same time I am so afraid. Of failure. I am deeply complex. Some people will never understand me.

*I have issues with being committed to someone for the rest of my life. I believe we should get married an somewhere in there, we should have an expiration date. After two years we should be able to sit down and say look…I don’t think your contract will be renewed for the up and coming year. This just aint working out. So hey—it’s been real. *Two fingers..* Yet, in Consistently inconsistent manner I want that 50 year marriage like my grandparents just celebrated. Sue me..Kick Rocks I told you I was inconsistent.

*I’m a “g,” I know how to play the stock market, I own stock, I have IRA’s because I hustle hard. I’m broke but I’m never broke..when I am 50 I will sit pretty because I am barely making it now. So many people use this phrase but that my friend is indeed..”Real Talk.”

*I love my friends. If I call you friend then you are more like family. My circle is small I may not talk to you today but I will talk to you forever. Just because that’s the way I am. I consider myself to be “in” when I say “in,” most people know it doesn’t mean “in” as in “in-style,” or “in the know,” it means “in” as in “introverted” I am very “in.” Doesn’t mean I love you any less…just means I am in. Get over it.

*I talk to God every day because I feel like Jay-Z, “I have demons deep inside that will raise when confronted..” so I pray and I say Lord..let’s not get them started today. Lol

*I can’t believe how hard it is to come up with “10 blatantly honest facts about…I” but this counts as number 8 so ha! *kick rocks, my blog my rules*

*I find it hard to blog if I don’t have something to say. Afterall this is my soap box I should say “something..” I think on May 3rd my post called, “An Open Letter from A Blessed Sinner..” is hands down the realest ish I have ever wrote in my life.

*I am afraid I will die young, so I try to achieve everything I can now because theres that part of me that isn’t fearless and that part fears I will die really young. My grandmother had dreams that I would die in the last car I had-she dreamt it would catch on fire. Guess what happened? It started randomly catching on fire something with a spark plug. I sold the car immediately. I wonder if I die young what my legacy would be so I have decided to start living that legacy. (Legacy N. Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.)

My legacy is starting..so that my dynasty can soon begin.

Be Blessed my friends.

2007-08-14T11:52:00.000-04:00

Currently I am listening to Nina Simone…damn I am indeed Young, Gifted, and Black..

So much has been going on. First one of my artist—Draztic (see below) we released his cd on my label yep—I started my own label. Actually I’ve always had it but now seems like a good of a time as any to promote it.

His CD overall is good. Him and I have two completely different styles..I’m Commonish…he’s… young. Lol

I think with experience comes growth and retrospect for life so your views are different. Make sense? It should you are all incredibly smart. That’s why I read your blogs. Keeps me elevated.

I am still working on my own cd. I have put all others to the backburner. I guess that sucks. But—you know I can’t collab with every tom dick and hank while I am trying to complete my project.

My CD is called…Two Weeks Notice: I quit. It took me a little while to think of a concept. But then I realized sometimes music and I have this love/hate relationship. We have a forbidden affair that I just can’t seem to get rid of. I didn’t want to make a “mixtape,” screw it… so I decided I quit.. and that’s the concept of my mixtape. It basically starts with my notice…follows me thru quitting various things…my job, my relationships, etc. Good concept but let’s see how it goes..

I lent (is that a word?) a friend my sis’ poetry book. I haven’t seen it since. I am pissed.. But I guess she needed it more than I did. So…guess what? I am gonna buy another one. But I am gonna be slightly pissed when I look at her.

UGH—JERK!

*drops mic*

Breath Of Fresh Air Vol. 1

2007-08-03T08:19:00.000-04:00

This is my artist....This is my label...this is his cd....this is my post.

That is all.

I used to be married to a man by the name of Music…

2007-07-27T11:17:00.001-04:00

but it's over now…he's in an abusive relationship and there's nothing I can do about it.

Dear World,

I put my heart in a box and handed it to you

But nobody wants that responsibility....who would've thought lil ol' me could impact so many souls and I haven't even spoke one word. Press a couple keys and write a couple lyrics now everybody knows you inside out. Put on a couple fake smiles and do what they want and now everybody wishes they were you. Are you sure you want that? Last time I checked I was on the chopping block....Judge gave me 2-4 and after that yelled Life. That mallet being slammed into that wooden panel was probably one of the most relieving moments of my life. Looking over at the jury who held my life in their hands just to say one word, and take it away.....guilty. No, I didn't break the law...but then again most people who receive a sentence were "innocent" right? Last thing I remember happening was me being born a prodigy. Kid too smart for this world so God had to find a way to tell me to slow down....this is it. Ultimate sacrifice, your life for someone else's. Yeah I'm fine for the time being, thanks for asking....but the judge wrote out the rest of my life....I don't think I'll get out on good behavior, but I can try to fight my way out. You can't change fate but destiny is always open for new things. So now I have to make a choice...and I will...live for today, fuck yesterday and tomorrow might just be that much better.

I put my heart in a box and handed it to the world....nah....I'll just place it in the ocean and let it take sail with the current...it's safer out there on its own anyways.....I'll catch up with it when tomorrow comes. Let's see if this jury was correct with their verdict.

My mixtape is coming soon…

Always,

How come? Huh? Okay at least I am updating..

2007-07-26T10:35:00.000-04:00

*RUNS IN TO THE BLOG...*

THIS JUST IN....

How come I didnt know that Kroger still made "Squirt," soda..and who the heck buys it?

How come I dont know what the hell "DROP RED," soda is ..and again...who buys it?

AND FINALLY THE HUMANITY!!!!MY GOD!! Do you see what that says??? GROUND BISON. TENDER BISON!!! WHAT THE HELL??? WHO EATS BISON.. I had to stop and text message Jus Butterfli (JUSSY B!!!) like stat!!! to find out who in the hell eats that!

Kicks rocks and faints...

Stay tuned I got something to say...

Picture this... (A conversation based on pic from the Sidekick 3

2007-07-24T12:53:00.000-04:00

This is how I started my Monday

It's not my car it's my friend's car. Not just any friend. One of those Iknewyousincethedaybeforeforever friends. One of those Icouldntimaginemylifewithoutyou friends. So..he calls at...eh....6:22AM are you in Columbus or Atlanta? Um...I'm at home in Atlanta laying on the floor (don't ask..) what do you want? My car just had the worst flat!! Really?? Where... NEWNAN on my way home from Columbus. What??? Yes I went to Columbus to get some from my ex...*Insert the whatthehellface? You couldn't find any in Atlanta?? Ugh, I was going to call out anyway. So I pull myself up from the best sleep ever throw on some clothes and head over. To assist him. I live on exit....20 something. (Sorry stalkers no exact numbers..) Almost by GA 400 he was in NEWNAN. Damn what a way to start a Monday. Oh one quick statement look at that tire...c'mon that didnt just happen. People lets service our cars and make sure our tires are in proper order.

This is one of the reasons I was laid out on the floor...A CRACK SHAKE. What had happened was lol. I walk into the Crack dealer..hmmm what do I want? Let me see.... Cashier guy says--hey we're about to close would you like a Crack shake... (music plays, heaven opens up, Jesus kisses me, the devil kicks rocks, birds chirp, bees are buzzing and a fiend..is happy...) End scene.

Because I had to give the school all of this ^^^^^^ my car gas tank looked like this:

Hello Marta--yeah pick me up stat!

This is my dog Gizmo G. Sanford who pissed me off this weekend..why you ask?? Because she jumped into this bucket which actually had mud in it because my 8 year old brother was making mud pies....She is a Shitzu..but in this picture she just looks like Sh*t... little b*tch!
*ugh*

This is 2/3's of what had me laid out on the floor. Sushi. My God I loved Sushi... This was made fresh by the good people at Chin Chin #7 which I just recently found out existed.

And finally

The last reason I was laid out...this isnt from my phone but this is the same Lazer tag my little brother has!!!!! Why because my mom doesnt throw away toys so guess what?? We had it when were little back in 85 86..now my brother is playing with it and I damn near died playing with him.

*Drops Mic*

PS..I will try to update more consistently and address some real ish this week.....

Maybe.

Randomness/How comes?

2007-07-11T11:53:00.001-04:00

*How come I am typing this in Microsoft Word which basically means I have found a way to shuck the man?

*Hey who says Shuck aside from me?

*How come someone owes me money because not only did my family forget my birthday but they had a BBQ and forgot to invite me?! (With you living in Atlanta we tend to forget you.) Who the hell says that? My sister lives in AZ and calls and tells me what's going on!

*How come I see $40,000 checks, $5,000 checks, and $25,000 checks come thru this office but my check has no commas?

*How come I wish I was a little taller?

*How come this random chick is hating on me for no reason? How come I know why…her husband cheats, her mom dislikes her, her 8 year old still pees in the bed and I am still cooler than a polar bears toenails! KICK ROCKS mother of the pee pee boy!

*How come my mixtape concept is hotter than hot in my own opinion so I find myself listening to my intro and saying ha ha ha suckas!

*How come the A&R said..any label will love and hate this concept.

*How come I said I don't give a flying…..fig. J

*How come I am playing T.I. My Swag over and over and thinking this Chorus is about me.

* They wanna know what's so special about her// Why they not like her// It's my swaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag*//How she looks so cool// when everyone tries to do what she do// It's my swaaaaaaaaaaaaaag. LOL!

*How come I want that instrumental so bad just so I can do something messy for my mixtape?

(Cause I'm still a rapper—and as my sis Jussy B would say Don't act Brand new you already knew..)

*How come everything that can go wrong is but I feel like I'm living the good life?

*How come I have yet to get one muthafreakin' bowl of Mac N Cheese and I feel like murdering someone before I slave in the kitchen and make my own?

*How come I officially decided to be single and now everyone is calling?

*How come I have something really important to address in the next couple of blogs and if people don't read now…they are really going to stop after this.

Tru story..I'm out.

THE DAY HATE WAS FORMED

2007-06-28T13:25:00.001-04:00

Keeping with my Consistently Inconsistent self...I present...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AND ME ONLY ALL OTHERS CAN KICK ROCKS DAY...

JUNE 29th

I am not only a member I am the freaking president...!

We Interrupt this Program

2007-06-28T09:07:00.000-04:00

To Bring you a public service announcement from C.I and the good people at Iamstillahater.com

Please buy my sister's book. (And because I am honest let me put it out there..I have not bought my sisters book because I hate the mail and I called her to say---why in the hell do you not have copies for purchase??) But now that she has informed me I will gladly be purchasing it ONLINE tomorrow-Broke people operate on paydays.

With that said..Please don't be a slacker like me log on and buy this book now!

http://stores.lulu.com/soulwideshut

"soul wide shut" is a compilation of poetics that will take the reader on an expedition through the myriad stages of romantic love; from attraction to interaction, from fighting the feeling to free-falling, from first kisses to being completely intimate, from the joy of exclusivity to the pain of losing everything, and all the emotion-filled beautiful things that can happen in-between. [note: some poems contain profanity.]

AND NOW BACK TO THE HATE....KICK ROCK SUCKAS TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY AND THE HATE IS COMING OUT OF ME FULL STREAM!!!!!!!

If you are anywhere near Loganville HOLLER AT ME...SONY IS THROWING ME A BIRTHDAY BASH

Hosted by a few folks you might know!!!

It's a celebration Bitches!!!!

Randomness

2007-06-25T12:39:00.000-04:00

It's Monday--SHONUFF SUCKAS

My birthday is in 4 days. What could be better than your birthday, it’s Friday and it’s payday? How bout if my family remembers. 10 to 1 my little brother is the only one who remembers because he thinks we should have cake no matter what the occasion.

I watched the Notebook this weekend-that’s actually a good freakin’ movie. How come none of you suckas told me?

I just re-read my first statement I still think it’s true but I realize I don’t know what the heck 10 to 1 means but I’ve seen it on tv.

If I wake up to an email that says, I hope your day goes well because I love you. It lifts my spirits like never before. So when the duck’s lackeys walk in I am on a high and they are irrelevant.

I found one flaw in my house…here’s a story tell me if you find the flaw.
I went to Chic-fil-a, I got a crack shake and some chicken nuggets. I walk in the house go up the first set up stairs when you immediately walk in, take the sharp immediate left and walk up the next set up stairs, hang a right and walk up the next little set, swing the corner and hit the last steps…turn left and go to the last door and go in my room—sit down to enjoy nuggets and the crack shake look down and realize the crack shake is in the car....so much for the crack shake.

If Heroes doesn’t hurry up and come back on I just might lose my freakin’ mind.

Why did the TR text me and say she misses me…her new roommate sucks. Why did I respond…Who is this? OMG I KILL ME.

Why is my favorite commercial the one about text messaging where the mother says who have you been text messaging 50 times a day? And she says.. idk my bff Jill?

Why do I know the whole commercial word for word? And why have I gotten all my friends to fall in love and die laughing at it? Iono..ask my bff’s sucka.

I bet you didn’t know this..
kick rocks
verb; what one would do after someone were to tell them to "F@#k Off" and their only recourse would be a non-violent display of frustration.
If you do not like my answer then kick rocks.You want me to do what.....kick rocks!If you do not like this phrase, then kick rocks!

Yep it’s in the urban dictionary Kick Rock To that suckas!

*DROPS MIC*

Sitting

2007-06-19T09:45:00.000-04:00

Today I just do not feel like me. So fyi-I am alive, I am Blessed, I am here.

I took this quote from Durl's page...because for some reason I feel like this quote today was directed at me. I've heard it a million times but today..I listened.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

By Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

So um..it's Friday right?

2007-06-15T09:45:00.001-04:00

This post is brought you by the letters: & as in "WHORE" say it with me children "W-H-O-R-E" Thank you Elmo & Zoe for your assistance. I guess it could be as in Watermelon and Hippo too Gosh.

Okay, so I think I am still vaguely suffering from a small form of writers block. I dunno. Maybe I am just blocking all my thoughts so I don’t have to write…um what? I’m confused. Anyway, I do have a story today, a recant of events. Or whatever you want to call it. Last week I completed the proper paperwork to move from school sponsored housing as well as take the next Semester off due to financial aid issues. (KIC…I wanted to say it so bad but I won’t..aw heck KICK ROCKS FINANCIAL AID!). Okay I am better.

Anyway this week I had no classes because I finished all finals last week so I had a week to really relax and pack and be out by Saturday. Since the information I received from the school indicated the 16th which is when children? Saturday. Very good! Please keep that in mind as there will be a pop quiz later in the story.
So-anyway things were going good this week. The T.R was being the T.R but hey—it happens right? So she text me on Tuesday, “hey are you still in Cols?” *Insert what an idiot you saw me making breakfast yesterday here at the apartment look here.* I respond-“who is this?” LMAO I will always send who is this if you never text me. She responds It’s “T.R” let’s protect the dumb ok? So I say, “no I’m in my room I will not be visiting Columbus for some time. What’s up?” T.R. “I need a huge favor, I know that you have access to 420 (the studio upstairs that only students with Semester or less of school have access to but I finagled yes children finagled my way into having an all access pass because I am an engineering assistant. So I say, “yeah.” She replies, “Well I have a project due on Friday I really need your help I have to do voiceovers for this Keep Atlanta Beautiful thing with the Mayor.” So long story short I say cool but I have the equipment at home we can do it there.

So moving Wednesday I am in my room packing my bathroom up and she is in the kitchen with this new girl who we will affectionately call Gay Dude Chick or GDC so I’m packing and she walks in and says oh you’re packing. I said yeah I want to be out by Friday because I will be leaving for an early birthday trip to New Orleans. She says, “No, Bitch you need to be out by Tomorrow because that’s what my paper says.” (Remember she’s an RA so she gets a list. Oh yeah side note---she uses the term “Bitch” in an affectionate manner which I hate because..I do.not.like.her.)
POP QUIZ TIME! What did the note say that I received from HER BOSS? Anyone..yes you there in the back--- speak up? Yes, the 16th you are correct!!! So I say, “no problem.” Thus ending our conversation and she walks out with GDC goes in her room and turns on the “I’m bout to hit something tonight cd” I was like hmmmm. Dare I assume? No need moaning starts. She has sank to an entirely new level. But hey at least we know she has crossover appeal. LMAO.

So Thursday I go to Sony for my internship hit work for a little while with the Ducks agent (gotta love the flexibility) then I head home to pack beating all rush hour(s) traffic. Take that suckas! As I am taking a box to my car in comes my T.R and GDC who heads right for my T.R’s room…*whatever* so the T.R. comes in with her paper can I do the voiceover now. Now at this moment Good Me is on my left side saying—help her this is her grade. But Consistently Inconsistent me is on the right side and wins the battle saying—“ Na shawty I can’t somebody told me I had to be out by today. Good luck with that tho.” A couple of my guy friends throw my tv and clothes in the back of their car I throw 2 fingers 2 the wind drop the gate key, house key, and mail box key down sign my release form and high step out like a champ…

*DROPS MIC*

This post is about you... YEP YOU...

2007-06-12T11:32:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been suffering from a serious case of writers block. I can’t write anything. In fact I can’t even jot down thoughts for this blog. So I decided to go with some randomness today..

My entire post is about.. Blogs I Check Out (you know that link on the right side of my page)

Concrete Loop—I am so addicted to this site, although I do hope that one day if I am fortunate enough to make it on this site I don’t find myself in the H.A.M (Hot A&*Mess) category.

D-Nice—this guy is one of my favorite artist of all times. I think he defines the “Renaissance Man,” he raps, dj’s, and through his blog I discovered he is an amazing photographer. I see a lot thru his eyes and from his work.

DeepNThought-Another site that I find myself addicted to and lingering around just to see what she might say next. Secretly I read her blog far before I actually had a blog. My favorite posts are those in which she calls, “Journal Entries-Just putting it out there” Because she does in fact--put it out there and I admire that.

Durl-I found his blog through, “That Girl Tam” and when I read it I thought, was an amazingly in love individual. I also find it interesting to read the male perspective at times. It’s not always the woman who hurts.

Hip & Pop-it’s just an addiction no deep story there .

Honey Libra-She came to my page and read my thoughts and I thought—wow someone read my page. I should go and do the same. And then I was mesmerized by the giant eye on her page lol. It’s like it was looking at me but not looking at me. Thinking what I was thinking but not thinking what I was thinking. Saying what I was saying but not saying anything. LOL From that-I decided I love her thoughts.

Infinite Ink-Another blog I read long before I had a blog, I find her to be the, “Renaissance Women,” and her photography is amazing. Plus she loves Heroes just as I love Heroes and without Heroes there would be no world worth living in... *sigh*

Just Butterfli-Okay, here’s something funny about her. I stumbled onto her page and I have nooo idea how. Then I read her page and her mythological talk (lol) about the plantation and I realized wait a damn minute..we work for the same DUCK! WTF? Then I commented on her page and I realized wait a damn minute..I know HER. Then I text her-and she told me her name and I discovered wait another damn minute!!!!!! Before I moved to ATL and transferred to the Duck’s lackeys I sat two rows from her. For years I sat right by her and never knew how amazing she was. DAMN IT. I guess it just wasn’t our time. But now it is and she is stuck with me Kick rocks and suck it up!

Just me Writing-She visited my page, and I returned the favor. And as I read her page I thought hey she’s cute and quirky. I like reading her page. It’s like my morning pick me up. So I read it and laugh or read it and learn..and there’s nothing you guys can do about it. So there.

Mr. Slish-Secretly I find him amazing. Publically I must hate at all cost because he told me to live in an alley when I was looking for a place to stay and he told me that my name for that dude sucked! So I continue to hate and again there is nothing you can do about it. So there! FYI in the midst of the hate I find him to be very intelligent, a wonderful story teller, and his profile pic aint to shabby at all. But..I am still hatin!

Paula D-She should have a column. I swear she cracks me the hell up. I don’t know what it is but she really makes me laugh. I think it may be her blatant honesty—she defines “Keepin’ it real son”

Tantrum—um she posted on my page, it was thoughtful and endearing and then…she disappeared.

TC-First off I love her profile pic. It makes me happy. I don’t know why but how can you look at that pic and not feel a little jazzy? I dunno but that’s what it makes me feel…jazzy suckas! Anyway I think she also commented on my blog and I went to check hers out-and I realize I like her sensitivity and encouragement. She always lifts me up..and in one post she knocked me into reality. That’s that real ish right there. (Yes, I am from the south we will say sentences like That's that..) Anyway, when someone can build you up and remind you when you are off in la la land to.

That Girl Tam-The first blog I ever read, and I am completely addicted. She’s witty and down to earth and I like reading what she’s going to say next. That’s all it aint nothing more to it.

The OE-my new addiction. I love this blog. Keep it real son. (That’s completely a joke in retrospect to the type of blog he has.)

Todd Kelley-the definitive moment when you realize there is someone who loves something just as much if not more than you do…and you are able to look that someone in the eye and applaud the beauty of which it exists. (Some people will never understand the affair that music and I have.)

WyzWmn’s World-Lmao it took me saying that outloud to realize what it was. And I still laugh about that. I like this blog because I receive both entertainment and knowledge. The Bible says if any man is hungry let him eat if any man is thirsty let him drink--I drink from the cup of knowledge that she pours. (Yeah, I'm deep sometimes huh...)

Honorable mention to: Daz for always leaving me a comment even though he doesn't have a blog.

Well folks that’s all…I am done there’s nothing more to say…

**THANK YOU!** Drops mic/kicks a few rocks.

The Weekend Is Over..

2007-06-10T23:46:00.000-04:00

Finals are over and I am feeling pretty good about that. Not much to say spent the weekend relaxing. My grandfather was admitted in the hospital he has severe pneumonia. I went to see him briefly. Other than that I’ve been chillin.

I should have been packing this weekend since I move next week but I didn’t instead I pretty much just enjoyed being off. I was going to work on music, I didn’t bother doing that either. Honestly I think I just needed a break.

I plan to just pack slowly this week. I hate packing. But I am glad to be moving. Thank God for the new spot. A lot of people asked—will you be there alone? Yes and no. I got the spot for a great deal under one condition-when my sister or cousin are in town (both are officers in the army) they get to stay with me. Since I agreed to that, they in turn are going to pay me 100.00 a month a piece which technically leaves me paying only $499 a month for a 3 story townhouse in ATL! Whoo hooo shawty!

On Friday, I went to a funeral too. At the last minute my Bishop asked if I could play because the regular organ player was late and they did not want to wait. So I did. Everything was everything. I realized at the funeral, I know a lot about the Bible. Why is that? Sometimes I feel like I am such a sinner such a screw up, but people keep telling me I am blessed, something big is going to happen for me, God has a plan. I guess I just have to sit and wait.
Iono, anyway I don’t have much to say!

Guess we’ll see as the week goes on! Have a great week!

FINALS WEEK

2007-06-05T12:06:00.000-04:00

It's Finals week for me...OH MY GOSH CLASS IS ALMOST OVER THANK GOD!!!

1 final down-2 to go.

Oh yeah--I got a new spot. Wanna c it? Sure you do.

-The outside...

-The kitchen where I won't spend much time. Take note to the blender..you know how I do.

I move in completely on June 14th--after that I will post a million pics! Okay maybe only like 4 but you know what I mean.

Be safe this week everyone-I will try to submit a real post sometime this week!!!

Still Standing

2007-05-30T11:54:00.000-04:00

“Each and every element that exists in this universe is manifested from a thought first
Through the inner mind's eye of the unseen power in the sky
Gave birth to Mother Earth and all it's worth to you and I
This most loved invention, my conciousness is an extensionof Him,
yet I'm flesh and bone with a mind of my own
To dig deeper than the surface,
whether I learn from your upcomings or your downfalls
we all have individual purpose”
Cee-Lo of Goodie Mob “Still Standing”

What an amazing week, most of my friends have been saying, when we are off Monday the week seems so much longer. Ahhh, not to me young grasshoppers. This week has been great! No matter how my day goes, or the remainder of my week man I feel great. I don’t know what it is…wait yes I do. I’m Blessed man. That’s what keeps me feeling exquisite.

Nope, haven’t got a new place—however I looked at the place in Alpharetta yesterday (it’s not Dunwoody but eh---I like it.) The owner is supposed to make a decision today. Cross your fingers. If I get it you’re all invited to the pool for a little party. (SIKE!) I don’t know all of you suckas! (Just kidding I love you all like play cousins from around the corner.)

I also haven’t had any change in school except I am going to sit out the summer quarter stack and come back and bust a hole in this school situation. I guess I am *still standing*

*SIDE NOTE*

Why was DeepNThought In Columbus at the same time as me and I missed her??? *UGH*

Um...Untitled

2007-05-25T23:05:00.000-04:00

“Now when we see each other it's so strange
I don't know whether to hug him or slug him (damn)
I don't know whether to cap him or dap him
I don't know what to think of him,
I don't know what's happenin”

-Jay Z “It aint personal”

I came to Columbus yesterday and when I got up this morning I thought, why am I here? LOL I guess I’ve never been a fan of this city. Even when I lived here. I called my “bestfriends” mother because it was here birthday, and she sounded so excited to hear me. We haven’t talked since I left for Atlanta. We all used to be close. I used to call her mom, my how things change. I used to call my “bestfriend” (notice the quotes and picture someone talking to you and doing the quotes symbol with their fingers-that’s how I feel about her.) anyway, I used to call her family. Now we barely talk. She slept with my ex, and she lied about so much, she took advantage of me, but still calls me bestfriend. Imagine what she would do to an enemy…Now when we see each other it’s so strange, I don’t know whether to hug her or slug her. I don’t know whether to cap her or dap her I don’t know what to think of her…..I don’t know what happenin…

There’s something in me that leads me to believe that everything happens for a reason. I think that’s partly why I cant stay upset about any one thing for more than a moment at a time. For example, financial aid-I was upset when I found out, then I got over it. In fact I am completely over it. Deciding if I go to school this summer cool, if not…then I will take the summer off save money and go the following quarter.

One of my friends went to War, there’s something that lead me to believe he was there for a reason, he died. And I still believe it was for a reason. And please spare me on the “good of war,” talk. Because there’s nothing in me that believes in nor decided to support or NOT support this war. My little sister is in the Army, she’s 22 and an Officer. I am incredibly proud of her. But also afraid at the same time. However, had she not joined the Army and achieved the things she’s achieved I’d never had learned as much as I have about the Army, so I guess everything happens for a reason.

My roommate and I had a long talk, I never mentioned I was moving, nor did I get upset with her. I think that everyone is put in your life at certain points to teach you certain things. I think she was placed in my life at this point..at this time to teach me one of two things. Either she was placed here to teach me the wonders of patience, or how to throw better. Either way I benefit! :-)

On a lighter sideI have 5 possible places to move. I’m excited. Three are in Dunwoody where I currently reside, and one in Smyrna and one is Alpharetta. I decided I would go look at all of them next week, I think I would be cool living in them all. Guess we’ll see what happens. As my friend “D” would say “No Worries.”

2007-05-21T18:35:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been too lazy to post. I actually haven't had much to say. I think I am filled with the same issues everyday so I pretty have just been holding them in and trying to move forward.
I had a good weekend. I went to a graduation party which was great, those people know how to party. I had a great time. It was also cool, because the dj was someone I taught to dj-so to see him at work really made me smile. I knew he would be there because I referred him for the job, but I wanted to see him in action and I was really proud of his performance.
Other than taking some relatives to the airport I really didnt do much else this weekend. I decided I need to move-and I started really looking. Last week I was looking--but during the weekend I REALLY started looking. I think it's best. Sure I will be adding a whole section of bills when technically I dont have any. But if I want to go to school, then that's the consequence I have to suffer.
Plus I just dont think my roommate and I will work out much longer. Last night she had people come over at 3:00 in the morning. Granted she doesnt have class until 3 and she doesnt work so-that's fine for her. But I had class at 8--then I had to come to work all day and no matter how much I ask her to please keep the noise down or take her friends into her room at least, it doesnt work. So I think the best thing for me to do is find another place to live.
So if you live in Atlanta-or surrounding areas and know of some nice places feel free to pass the word!
Be Blessed everyone.
And thank you to every single person who took the time to wish me encouraging words last week. Even you:

------------Forwarded Message------------------------
From: Darrin Thomas
Date: May 15, 2007 6:08 PM
Subject:
Your BlogTo: Cdotwill@tmail.com

Hey, I read your blog a lot and basically I just wanted to tell you to get over the whole school thing. People pay you live you learn drop out or move on. And are you really a rapper? I saw you posted that song before was that you?Darri

*KICK ROCKS DARRIN*

Silence Is Golden

2007-05-15T23:24:00.000-04:00

Verse: I decided to take a stand
Not knowing I'll lose my best friend
But I'd rather;
I'd rather live right
Than in hell lift up my eyes
Stand for Holiness
Stand for Righteousness
And be counted among them That shall reign with Him
You stand
When friends are gone
Stand when you're all alone
And believe He shall receive His own
Verse: I decided to take a stand
Not believing I'd lose Some of my friends
I would rather;
I'd rather live right Than in hell lift up my eyes.
-Stand John P Kee

Unfortunately right now...I have absolutely nothing else to say. So I end this post with one statement:

You will never break me. I'm standing. Kick Rocks!

Lessons I learned

2007-05-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

Today I learned...

Because my cousins screwed my grandparents they choose not to help the good children, plus they may need money or loans to bail those kids out of jail. (NO TRUE STORY IT'S WHAT THE HELL THEY TOLD ME) So I have no co-signer so no student loans because I also have NO credit.

I learned that if you want to do well in life, know that no one will help you but if you choose to do wrong or have a million kids you have every opportunity in the world.

Last but not least I learned..financial aid is fuckin me slowly from behind and if I want to continue my education I should probably look into the lottery.

But on a lighter note...I am still an honors student.
But who the hell knows for how long?
Kick Rocks.

Peace to you my friend, K'naan

2007-05-11T07:59:00.001-04:00

This is the impact I want to have. Simply amazing. I had to share. I really believe in supporting others. Maybe thats why I am so blessed. I have a important post coming soon--but for now please take a minute even if you don't like hip hop--if you like things of substance you will love this

So Thankful...Kinda.

2007-05-09T16:16:00.000-04:00

"I'm the exception to every rule.."
C.I random conversation w/a guy from the Duck HQ

Yep..I quoted myself today. And what? Lol
Apparently people don't like when I don't post. I find that refreshing that someone would want to read my ramble. Imagine the irony of all of that..

Thank you for reading, commenting, and listening to my mumbo jumbo. (lol I said mumbo jumbo...I'm so throwbackish in my lingo huh?-So!)

Anyway, I've been in such a thankful mood, the funny thing is-I've been surrounded by negativity. So let's talk to the negative for a moment. And give thanks for them.
Thank you to my professor.

Professor Strahtezensky who is teaching me Applied Calculus 101 for the Masters and the fact that he told me I am probably going to fail the class. Thank you so much! Had you not told me I am probably going to fail your class I would not have learned the blessing of, "dropping a class!" I was trying to figure out how in the hell I was going to get rid of you. Thank you I love you for calling me a smart ass, and for asking me how I managed to get a B on my last test without being awake. Without you I am nothing.... *laughs, then rolls eyes*

Ed. Note
I'd also like to thank the stupid advisor who told me I had to take Applied Cal when I can really take an easier class---"Ideas of Mathematics" I appreciate you and you inability to do your job. Without you I might actually be headed down the right path. I love you so much!

Thank you to financial aid.
If it was not for you, I would not know the true of experience of working full time and being a college student. After all, it is your job to *NOT* financially aid/assist me. (It's just your name is so misleading) Thank you! If it wasn't for you, I'd be worry and carefree and who needs that.

Thank you Dunwoody Place Luxury homes for being so expensive. But I can't completely give you all of the thanks and just due because as I look on the internet I see that you only typically charge $1120 for the place I currently reside in--so I have to give thanks to my school as well for adding the additional 1075 a month. Thank you. If it wasn't for you I would not know the pleasure of house hunting right now. Thank you!

Thank you Chik-fil-a for being right by my house and having those milkshakes that I know for a fact you put crack in because I find myself shaking, itching, and twitching on the floor when I don't have one. Kick rocks you basturds.

Thank you for 4:30-7:00 traffic in Atlanta. But not just for the traffic for the fact that I leave work in Marietta and drive all the way to my exit...#27 (which coincides with the GA 400 exit) in roughly 7-9 minutes but sit in front my exit for 1hr just to get home again kick rocks! Also I'd like to thank you for giving me the bright idea to get off on Roswell rd, sure the traffic sucks but hey...I knock off a good 10-15 minutes of sitting when I do. And I run into the most addictive chicken on the planet *BOSTON MARKET* wait am I really mad about that one?? *scratches head*

Thank you T.R.
This one is most special because you have truly shown me what my pa-pa (yeah I am 20+ and I still call my grandfather pa-pa get over it) anyway you've shown me what my pa-pa means when he says, "She is a working girl!" Work on girlie work on! I'd also like to thank you for having sex in the living room and leaving condoms AND your underwear on the chase lounge. Without you-I'd possibly know what it was like to sit outside of my room but because of you I itch in any other part of the house. Appreciate you.

Finally I would like to thank the lovely waitress at Chin Chin #..okay I don't remember the number but the one right by Publix off of Peachtree..I'd like to thank you for dropping my Fried California Roll two days ago..making another one...giving it to the wrong person...making me late for work and hungry...plus carrying around Sushi..only to get to work to realize that you my lady gave me a Tuna Roll and Crab something or another which isn't what I ordered. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been late to work or hungry. But on a sidenote the homeless guy on exit 20 in Marietta isn't hungry and that truly is because of you. GIVING ME THE WRONG DAMN MEAL! You know what you can do right?? KICK ROCKS!

I LOVE YOU!!! *Drops mic*
C.I

(I don't remember who abbreviated my name like that..but um..I loves it.)

DRUM ROLL THE DUCK!!!

2007-05-08T23:29:00.000-04:00

Today's post is bought to you buy he who pays me looking mad hot on my desk in my office.

(Yep the kid got my own office now!)

And the letter "B"

As in dont BE acting BRAND new because I didn't post.

LOL. I kill me!

Sorry I've been getting a lot of emails from people who really appreciated my last post, nice. I appreciate you too. I will be back with a real post after these messages.

C.I

An Open Letter from a Blessed Sinner

2007-05-03T00:24:00.000-04:00

"They ask me, do I believe in God
So I ask them, did I defeat the odds?"
J-Kwon "They Ask"

Dear God,

You know I want to be a better person, it's normally during the middle/end of the week that I realize how Blessed I am. It's been a long week, but not an impossible one, I'm so Blessed to be able to stand tall, fall, and get back up. The Blessing you've shown me is not in the standing nor is it in the falling, but it's the ability to get back up. For that I thank you Lord.

I thank you for lessons Lord, because I am so young and I have so much to learn. So I thank you for test, trials, and tribulations because I've learned that testimonies, come from true tests.
I thank you Lord for the gift of silence, I have said very few words during this week. Not because I am upset or irritable but because silence is such a beautiful gift and I cherish the gift.

I've learned that sometimes hell is around you, and you still have to have Heaven. Thank you God for giving me an inner peace. Thank you for allowing my mother, grandmother, and women of my church to teach me that inner peace. Where to find it, how to hold onto it, and how to walk with my head held high in that full armour of peace.

I've learned "friends still claim they want to see me with Sunshine and Rainbows," but they will call all the way to Japan to try to shit on my rainbow and piss on my sun. I've learned those same friends can KICK rocks dirty basturds! Thank you for that lesson Lord.

Lord you know my heart, so I find it so easy to sit down and type an open letter to you. Profanity and all, because I know that you know everyday, every moment, is a struggle...still I am pushing forward because each step is one that will bring me closer to the person I need to be. Sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one understands....

Lord thank you for the weight. There are some who can't carry so I'm Blessed to feel the weight. I thank you for tears Lord, because maybe I need to cry every once in a while just so I can see clearly again.
Lord, I thank you...
C.

All good things must come to an end.

2007-04-30T19:44:00.000-04:00

"I’m suppose to be the soldier who never blows composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain’t never suppose to show it, my crew ain’t suppose to know it"
-Eminem Toy Soldier

I feel so completely scatter brained. It's taken me far too long just to sit here and write my thoughts out. The weekend was completely not like I expected. I didn't get to have lunch with Jus B. Fli but I will! Especially knowing now, what I know based on emails, such a small world!

Anyway, I think Consistently Inconsistent has to be the best name ever for me. I am indeed consistently inconsistent. Scattered brained and all that stuff. I spent time with that dude on late Saturday early Sunday. I don't know how I feel about it. He works for the top electronics company in the world. He brokered a huge deal in New York and in a matter of minutes I went from extremely happy to devastatingly sad.

He presented the deal and now he has to close the deal...in Kyoto, Japan. He could be gone up to 4 months. I was devastated. Okay, we're not commited which is completely my fault, but for the last few weeks things have been really good, we have been together a lot mainly because of an issue that happened that bought us closer. (See April 10th or April 13th's random facts-it hints at what happen.) Anyway, now he's leaving. He asked me if I wanted him to stay. Of course I do. 4 months is a long time. But I didn't say it. I would never ask him to choose me over his job that he loves so much. The only comparison I have to that is music and he would never put me in that predicament. So I chose not to put him in that predicament. But when he went to shower, I cried. When I drove from his house I cried. Today I cried. I don't cry. Something in me just doesn't allow me to cry, I think it's because I carry so many different weights on my shoulders. My mother who's been through a divorce, my sister who's afraid to go to war but willing to die for this country, my brother, myself, everything is just sometimes too much.

"I’m suppose to be the soldier who never blows composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain’t never suppose to show it, my crew ain’t suppose to know it"

When I got home my T.R was in the kitchen, and every dish in the house was dirty. Again. I didn't have the strength to clean up, or listen to her bull*ish. Not today, not after sitting down listening to that dude tell me he's leaving for 4 months. So I'm walking to my room and she says, "I hope you don't mind," anytime she says I hope you don't mind the next words out her mouth always irritate the hell outta me. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed some *items* (sidenote she listed all items but I don't care to disclose that.) from your room. I will replace them. I had company."

This is normally where I would insert some dumb face because that's what I do to her. Instead---slide to the left because I threw her cell phone, the house phone, and a glass at her dumb ass. That's right her cell phone, I was mad not dumb. This sidekick was a gift from Champ and cost him $375.00 who the hell is going to throw a $375.00 phone!? Normally I'm so calm but going in my room was asking for it. She left. This morning when I woke up, the house was clean, and there was a card on the table for me.

Just in case you thought I was bullsh*ttin. I went to class and then to work. Fuck a card man. I guess sometimes u gotta be crazy to get some peace.

Consistently Inconsistent

New Blog

So.....

Follow Me

~Rambles, QT, and the RED ROOSTER RUSH~

Life....dirty socks...and Drake

I been busy...lol

It's been a minute...

Untitled

So seriously...

Randomness during the last days of my sk slizzi

I AM SO....

*Yawn, Stretch, Scratch*

What's wrong with this pic...dont worry I will tell you

Everything..but nothing..

They, us, them…we

If ...

This was a really good tribute to him...

by Alan Sepinwall/The Star-Ledger Saturday August 09, 2008, 12:18 PM

Walk In My Life

#$%!@!!!!!

I GOT THESE!

While I was off....

When I grow up...

*Dopeness in a bottle*

LMAO..

Taken from my sis Honey Libra

Ha! part 2 found my post saved in my phone!!!

$@%)*#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Told You Tom Gurl!

A.P.T. Song - Obama Obama (Lil Wayne

How come...

Whoever says....

Fly pics...

So um.....you voting?

The Ducks Lackey....

Stay tuned..no time to chat right now

Crazy Girl On Train.

DOPE!

UGH!

WAIT!! WAIT!! WAIT!!

Monday Addictions....

WELCOME TO 2008

Police not guilty in groom's death

What is Music to me?

Heart Of The City....

*Monday*

LMAO

TWO POSTS...ONE DAY

How We Met

Mondays Suck I will update Tuesday

I am...

RIP GIZMO

Monday Morning Blues

Well ok...

I am....So hip hop...

So about hip hop being dead.....(let's see how this goes)

Thoughts on Retiring

Resolutions...

SEC Championship.....

I have addictions..

I like you...

The Water Crisis is all my fault..

RETURN OF THE (T)RIFLING (R)OOMATE PART 2?????

Technology made me spoiled

Life...Pity Whatever..Get Over It..

Still finding myself...

Random Monday Thoughts

Finding Myself…Losing him

Finding Myself

Am I coming up?

Lesson Learned

How come pic edition!

When is enough, enough.....?

10 Blantantly Honest Facts about..."I"

Breath Of Fresh Air Vol. 1

I used to be married to a man by the name of Music…

How come? Huh? Okay at least I am updating..

Picture this... (A conversation based on pic from the Sidekick 3

Randomness/How comes?

Yawn, Stretch, Scratch

by Alan Sepinwall/The Star-Ledger
Saturday August 09, 2008, 12:18 PM

Dopeness in a bottle

Monday

Randomness

Um...Untitled

DRUM ROLL THE DUCK!!!