When is enough, enough.....?

*Disclaimer-This is completely my opinion, my voice, my blog, my soap box. I do not give a damn if you agree or disagree on this one. Please feel free to kick rocks. Thank you and God Bless

–Management-

He was my friend, I met him my first quarter of college. He was a good guy. Quiet but extremely talented. I mean extremely talented. One of the types that you want to know, you're attracted to them because of their disposition, their determination, their will to be something more than what they are. Not because you want to sleep with them per say.

I was attracted to his mind; we just connected like we met before. He was a graphic design major. He made this incredible cartoon and asked me to make the score to it... I did and that's really how we met. I actually thought about posting the score here but decided not to. Maybe I will post the song one day. It's not a rap or anything but some of the best production work I'd ever done. Maybe God knew.

Anyway, he committed suicide 08/20/2007-because of various issues, the biggest issue being financial aid. He and I are in the same boat. Trying to figure out how you are going to make it. Doing all the right things but finding life just doesn't want to play fair. So tell me when is enough enough? I called my Bishop and talked to him, because I had to ask… (And before you religious heads preach me a sermon in comments…I don't want to hear it. I value comments but I do not need you preaching to me or obscuring blasphemous facts at me.) Anyway I asked-if God puts no more on you than you can bear-and he knows that this weight he is handing you will result in you ultimately committing suicide which will result in you going to hell then please explain to me the logic—I am not questioning you God. I am just trying to understand. And another question, how do we go to a funeral in which the preacher will say something cliché such he is in a better place, or God took him home…when technically he's in hell. *I'm confused*

Based on my own research I came up with these (my opinion is represented in bold italics):

(1 Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV) [16] Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? [17] If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. (So doesn't this mean if you kill yourself then God will destroy you i.e send you to hell? Surely it doesn't mean destroy my temple and I will meet you in Heaven for a reward.)

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV) [19] Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (Okay this one doesn't really say kill yourself and I am coming for you homie… but again temple of the Holy Spirit…)

(Romans 14:79 NIV) [7] For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. [8] If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. [9] For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. (Confusion..so if we live, we live to the Lord and if we die, we die to the Lord-suicide included?)

But then I went to another blog…a Christian Blog that I will not name and I saw this posted by a minister:

"There are many scriptures that condemn murder. But I have yet to find one that explicitly (or implicitly) states that "suicide is murder".
While suicide is tragic, I have never yet found any scripture that explicitly condemns it."

I guess I am just wondered because-as my mother said. I have always been "stuck in my ways," right or wrong. So my friend, I will miss but I cannot sit in his funeral filled with Blasphemous thoughts. My Bishop once delivered the Eulogy for a guy who killed a guy and he never once said this murderer is going to hell rather he spoke to the youth in the building and said let this be an example to you. I guess right now all this just doesn't sit well with me and I am not sure how to respond.

*Drops Mic*

10 Blantantly Honest Facts about..."I"

*I chose the name consistently inconsistent and the reason I chose that name is because it describes me perfect. On Monday’s I could be up and Tuesday down..in fact Monday morning I could be up and Monday afternoon I could be down. I am indeed Consistently Inconsistent. I am my mother’s second child. But first born. She had two miscarriages prior to me. So what does that say? I was born to be a survivor.

*I love music..I hate music. I am hip hop…I am not hip hop. Though none of this may make sense to you it completely makes sense to me. I want to be the different but I am completely like all of you.

*I am my father’s child but not my father’s child…
I guess that’s an easy one. I have a stepfather and as much as we don’t get along. I am him in every aspect. I am in part fearless—I feel like as a soldier he was fearless. But at the same time I am so afraid. Of failure. I am deeply complex. Some people will never understand me.

*I have issues with being committed to someone for the rest of my life. I believe we should get married an somewhere in there, we should have an expiration date. After two years we should be able to sit down and say look…I don’t think your contract will be renewed for the up and coming year. This just aint working out. So hey—it’s been real. *Two fingers..* Yet, in Consistently inconsistent manner I want that 50 year marriage like my grandparents just celebrated. Sue me..Kick Rocks I told you I was inconsistent.

*I’m a “g,” I know how to play the stock market, I own stock, I have IRA’s because I hustle hard. I’m broke but I’m never broke..when I am 50 I will sit pretty because I am barely making it now. So many people use this phrase but that my friend is indeed..”Real Talk.”

*I love my friends. If I call you friend then you are more like family. My circle is small I may not talk to you today but I will talk to you forever. Just because that’s the way I am. I consider myself to be “in” when I say “in,” most people know it doesn’t mean “in” as in “in-style,” or “in the know,” it means “in” as in “introverted” I am very “in.” Doesn’t mean I love you any less…just means I am in. Get over it.

*I talk to God every day because I feel like Jay-Z, “I have demons deep inside that will raise when confronted..” so I pray and I say Lord..let’s not get them started today. Lol

*I can’t believe how hard it is to come up with “10 blatantly honest facts about…I” but this counts as number 8 so ha! *kick rocks, my blog my rules*

*I find it hard to blog if I don’t have something to say. Afterall this is my soap box I should say “something..” I think on May 3rd my post called, “An Open Letter from A Blessed Sinner..” is hands down the realest ish I have ever wrote in my life.

*I am afraid I will die young, so I try to achieve everything I can now because theres that part of me that isn’t fearless and that part fears I will die really young. My grandmother had dreams that I would die in the last car I had-she dreamt it would catch on fire. Guess what happened? It started randomly catching on fire something with a spark plug. I sold the car immediately. I wonder if I die young what my legacy would be so I have decided to start living that legacy. (Legacy N. Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.)

My legacy is starting..so that my dynasty can soon begin.

Be Blessed my friends.

Currently I am listening to Nina Simone…damn I am indeed Young, Gifted, and Black..

So much has been going on. First one of my artist—Draztic (see below) we released his cd on my label yep—I started my own label. Actually I’ve always had it but now seems like a good of a time as any to promote it.

His CD overall is good. Him and I have two completely different styles..I’m Commonish…he’s… young. Lol

I think with experience comes growth and retrospect for life so your views are different. Make sense? It should you are all incredibly smart. That’s why I read your blogs. Keeps me elevated.

I am still working on my own cd. I have put all others to the backburner. I guess that sucks. But—you know I can’t collab with every tom dick and hank while I am trying to complete my project.

My CD is called…Two Weeks Notice: I quit. It took me a little while to think of a concept. But then I realized sometimes music and I have this love/hate relationship. We have a forbidden affair that I just can’t seem to get rid of. I didn’t want to make a “mixtape,” screw it… so I decided I quit.. and that’s the concept of my mixtape. It basically starts with my notice…follows me thru quitting various things…my job, my relationships, etc. Good concept but let’s see how it goes..

I lent (is that a word?) a friend my sis’ poetry book. I haven’t seen it since. I am pissed.. But I guess she needed it more than I did. So…guess what? I am gonna buy another one. But I am gonna be slightly pissed when I look at her.

UGH—JERK!


*drops mic*

Breath Of Fresh Air Vol. 1

This is my artist....This is my label...this is his cd....this is my post.


That is all.