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I wasn't going to update..but finally I decided to.

I met Travis a few years ago, I never really "liked" him per say. Well I did but--he was so attractive I thought...he doesn't go for the average "jeans & t-shirt," chick like me. But he did. After a few years of being one of my closest friends he became, my soul. On October 2nd, my soul died. In a war that I have to support because my sister is headed over there on 11.24.08.

For the past few weeks, I haven't said or done...anything. I've alienated my friends, because bullshit arguments about this or that with their bf's seemed so stupid. So irrelevant. At least he was there for you to argue with. Idk.. I guess I don't really have much to say...But friends...family...

I am still alive, and I will try to blog because...maybe that will help. I really don't know. But for now...I am just consumed, overwhelmed, sad, afraid.......alone.

Those of u who have my # I tried to text all of u so that I could give you my new # w/ at & t if I forgot u...please forgive me....I still love u all.

Always.

C.