Thursday, March 29, 2007

I messed up..and I'm sorry.

"It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit
When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience"
Jay-Z Soon You'll Understand

Dear You....
I know you've been reading this blog so it's only fitting I address you here. As you know first hand I've been going through this selfish phase and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I can't. But right now between music, school, and work, I've had little time for anything else and for that I am a certain extent.

I'm consistently inconsistent with the same situations. You want me to call you, come by, spend time with you,things I can't commit too right now. I do what I can but I can't spend every waking moment with you. I'm sorry, not for me being me. But I am sorry that you have to be entangled in the situation. But then again I've told you time and time again, no one is making you stay. Does that make me wrong? I think to a certain degree is does-and FOR THAT I apologize. (Sidenote. I don't want you to go...despite our undefined relationship-which I know is my fault...) Nonethless...

I do care about you, but for some reason at this point in my life, I can't settle down. My time doesn't allow. My grandmother always says you can replace a lot of things in life but you can never replace time. After arguing with you...I realize the importance of those words. I spent my last few moments with you arguing. Moments that can't be replaced. So now on the the walls of time I've sketched words I can never take back, time I can never replace, and feelings I can never repair. So with that said..I'm sorry...not for me being me. But for entangling you in this situation that I call life.

1 comment:

Me said...

I appreciate your honesty. But I don't think you are looking at my side as well as your don't understand nothing is making me go but everything is making me stay. It's easy to say nothing is keeping you here. Because that drops some of the responsibility it makes things a little easier for you if I just leave. But it doesnt always work that way. I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to try to work through this situation, I'm cool with the fact that you havent exactly committed to me...I think it's fear more than anything else. And right now, I'm willing to wait. But I can only be the backbone, the support you need if you let me. The ball is in your court.