Thursday, May 3, 2007

An Open Letter from a Blessed Sinner

"They ask me, do I believe in God
So I ask them, did I defeat the odds?"
J-Kwon "They Ask"

Dear God,

You know I want to be a better person, it's normally during the middle/end of the week that I realize how Blessed I am. It's been a long week, but not an impossible one, I'm so Blessed to be able to stand tall, fall, and get back up. The Blessing you've shown me is not in the standing nor is it in the falling, but it's the ability to get back up. For that I thank you Lord.

I thank you for lessons Lord, because I am so young and I have so much to learn. So I thank you for test, trials, and tribulations because I've learned that testimonies, come from true tests.
I thank you Lord for the gift of silence, I have said very few words during this week. Not because I am upset or irritable but because silence is such a beautiful gift and I cherish the gift.

I've learned that sometimes hell is around you, and you still have to have Heaven. Thank you God for giving me an inner peace. Thank you for allowing my mother, grandmother, and women of my church to teach me that inner peace. Where to find it, how to hold onto it, and how to walk with my head held high in that full armour of peace.

I've learned "friends still claim they want to see me with Sunshine and Rainbows," but they will call all the way to Japan to try to shit on my rainbow and piss on my sun. I've learned those same friends can KICK rocks dirty basturds! Thank you for that lesson Lord.

Lord you know my heart, so I find it so easy to sit down and type an open letter to you. Profanity and all, because I know that you know everyday, every moment, is a struggle...still I am pushing forward because each step is one that will bring me closer to the person I need to be. Sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one understands....

Lord thank you for the weight. There are some who can't carry so I'm Blessed to feel the weight. I thank you for tears Lord, because maybe I need to cry every once in a while just so I can see clearly again.
Lord, I thank you...
C.

13 comments:

Daz said...

I love the title, believe it or not when I get to work this is the first place I stop. I like the quotes you choose, I am not a big ramp fan but it's nice to see there's actual words out there that have meaning. I also love this post.

My favorite line is:
The blessing you've shown me is not in the standing nor is it in the falling, but its in the ability to get back up.

Have a goo day.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. I've felt the same way. I love the last part about tears making you see clearly.

deepnthought said...

Now I see, I am gone have to put you on the read with tissue box next to me list. dang. lol.

This was a beautiful and moving post. I would say more but it is no more that needs to be said.Just beautiful.

Mr.Slish said...

Got me over here appreciating shyt all of a sudden..lol

Honey-Libra said...

We should all take time to thank God for everything..good and bad.

Wonderful post.

Consistently Inconsistent... said...

@daz
Thank you, the title is completely about me. I am so Blessed in life, faults and all. Good and bad. I am still so Blessed. I'm also a rapper so I quote words from rap songs often. And I do fall, so when I can dust myself off and get up-that is such a magnificent thing.

@anonymous
Thank you, please come back sometime and visit me. Your presence is always welcomed.

@deepnthought
I'm so humbled by the presence of you all, thank you so much for your warm words. I can only be honest if not with myself-a must with God. I mean HOW YOU GONNA LIE TO GOD? Lol! But thank you, thank you, thank you. Beautiful was never a word I would have used here. But again I am humbled that you did.

@Slish
Thanks Slishy!! You make me wanna go out and buy bikes and do nice stuff for people!

@Honey
We should, I don't thank God enough.

Stephen Harris said...

I was having a really tough day at work today. I have never visited blogs, I am not an avid reader. I do surf the net. I was googling something at work and came across your page.

This post, these words were exactly what I needed to read at this very moment. Sometimes I forget all that I have to be thankful for because I am so wrapped up in what didnt go right. I thank God for leading me to your page and I thank you for your blatant honest.

Kayla said...

OMG I agree with DeepNThought, this post made me cry. I don't know if I felt convicted or what. But I found this post to be so emotionally charged.

jus butterfli said...

CONSISTENTLY!!!

oh my goodness!! this is beautiful!! i am all teary-eyed and i want you to know that's really not helping my eye allergies, damn you!! (lol)

seriously, i LOVED this! yes, lil sis... give Him thanks for ALL things! the good and the bad! the sunshine and the rain... ALL OF IT!!

how come i need to get outta here before i have blog comment church? ;)

how come i'm going to steal your idea and write my own "open letter".

how come i think you are AWESOME??!!

peace, love and hugs!!

It is What It Is... said...

Amen...lol

Its so awesome when you can keep it real with God...and just say: "You know my heart...."

Love it!

Cheryl said...

I actually work with Steve (Stephen) and he told me to read this post.

Very touching.

Best wishes.

Cheryl

Consistently Inconsistent... said...

@Stephen
Thank you for reading my words. I am such an imperfection it's amazing that I was able to help you. Thank you for helping me.

@Kayla
I still love your name! Don't cry! I mean this post in the most sincerest ways. I have been so Blessed and sometimes I wonder, "why?" I thank you for being a Blessing to my blog.

@Jussssy B!
Thank you sis, I did not try to make you cry, but I did need to confess so many things to the Lord, I do need to address the Blessings I don't deserve but still receive. The good, the bad, the ugly.
Hugs, Love, and Peace back at you!

@it is what it is..
If I can't keep it real with God who else can I?

@Cheryl
The Blessing in this all is that you stopped by my spot! Continued elevation and Blessings to you my sister.

To EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED

I love you all, thank you for encouraging me to be a better person.

T.C. said...

beautiful ci, simply beautiful