It's been a minute...

Hey family...how is everyone? I am alive and so Blessed that so many of you care. I love you all. I am not feeling 100 percent #1 Haterish...but I am definitely getting back on my feet.

This morning I actually woke up and thought...damn I hate living in Dunwoody. I can never find a Church's chicken--and for those who frequent my blog you know I went on a Chicken rampage last year in search of cooked bird..so I guess that's a start. (side note I no longer eat the bird...) lucky basturd because everyone also knows I demolished the chicken I am probably part chicken for all the bird I ate. Either that or somewhere a Chicken gang is plotting to kill me.

Anyway, I am alive I am doing better- some days are far more harder than others. But I am alive and blessed...

Untitled

I wasn't going to update..but finally I decided to.

I met Travis a few years ago, I never really "liked" him per say. Well I did but--he was so attractive I thought...he doesn't go for the average "jeans & t-shirt," chick like me. But he did. After a few years of being one of my closest friends he became, my soul. On October 2nd, my soul died. In a war that I have to support because my sister is headed over there on 11.24.08.

For the past few weeks, I haven't said or done...anything. I've alienated my friends, because bullshit arguments about this or that with their bf's seemed so stupid. So irrelevant. At least he was there for you to argue with. Idk.. I guess I don't really have much to say...But friends...family...

I am still alive, and I will try to blog because...maybe that will help. I really don't know. But for now...I am just consumed, overwhelmed, sad, afraid.......alone.

Those of u who have my # I tried to text all of u so that I could give you my new # w/ at & t if I forgot u...please forgive me....I still love u all.

Always.

C.

So seriously...

This *NO* gas thing in atlanta is for the f*ckin' birds!

Randomness during the last days of my sk slizzi

Due to lack of sleep I've realized I think of random stuff. Like why is the water fountain next to the bathroom always the coldest water?

Why do I drink from it but in my mind I'm like......what the hell something about this isn't right. And yes..I want to stop because it seems odd but I am..indeed..addicted to that friggin thing.


Damn..


Side not...That Jazmine Sullivan and that TI both the truth!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO....

BURNT OUT. I AM TAKING EB'S ADVICE...I GOTTA FIND ONE DAY FOR ME.

*Yawn, Stretch, Scratch*

Between working full time, going to school full time, finishing this cd, working on a few side projects I only have one thing to say...

Move over pooch....

PS...
For those who wondered-my aunt is HIV negative...but the plot thickens....more blogging next week..time to sleep my life away.

What's wrong with this pic...dont worry I will tell you

So I took the liberty of copying this text from my SK Slizzi because I choose to rant about it
In case the font is too small for you guys it says:

"Drove by your mom house saw your car guess you 2 f*ckin good now to call your friends? I drove by three times saw you and Taylor outside playing..I got u. Guess if my name aint Travis I get no time."

I blacked out the idiots name and number but posted the msg because this person lurks around my blog and I definitely want this to be read but I am not going to blast anyone's actual number well I might but not this person...for now. Anyway there are so many things wrong with this text msg....

But I will just pick my top 3 and end this with a hearty f*ck off.

1. Don't ever......ever.....ever......mention my little brother name.
Sayin his name is like saying please come kick my a$$. ..I need it. Trust me you don't want to go there and I don't want to take you...but I will.

2. Don't ever ever....ever....ever...ever ever ever compare your company with that company of my dude.
F*ck you think you are?

3. Who the hell drives by someone's house three times??
Stalker sh!t homie...stalker sh!t....


Dang something else I wanted to say but my phone rung...what was it......*scratches head*
oh yea...

F*ck off

Please and thank you.

Everything..but nothing..

I've had everything on my mind, but nothing to say. I think I've just been drowning in the ocean that is me. Life has pretty much been the same. I haven't talked to my aunt, last I heard from my mom she was to have her test on Monday, the results would be back Wednesday. However when I spoke to my mom-no one in our family including my grandparents could reach her to determine her results. A normal family would panic but that's the way she is so her results could be good or bad. Who knows. We could easily go to the hospital, chances are she is sitting right there. But who has the time? 

That last statement is partly why I have been quiet because honestly, I feel a little bad that I don't feel bad enough, weird I suppose. But it's the truth in my mind I am thinking eh, okay. Life happens. I am actually going home this weekend, I got a new job and I start Monday so I figure I will hang out at home this weekend since I haven't been since I lost one of the most influential teachers in my life and went home to pay my last respects. That's been a while. And I'd like to play...er...hang with my little brother. Guess we'll see how it pans out...

PS.

I met Lyfe Jennings...he's cool people, gave me his information. He's officially bumped up a couple notches on my cool meter.

They, us, them…we

I used to pour my heart out in this blog, but lately things have been light. Not much of a reflection of my days or my inner inner thoughts because honestly life thus far has been pretty good. Today, I pour my heart out and release my glass thoughts and hope people realize I too am human, I am fragile, and this is something I wanted to say. If not kick rocks….my blog my thoughts..

She is my aunt, my stepfathers sister; the third child of 8. Intelligent, an MBA in medicine, a founder of several youth organizations, and the mother of one son.

He was her high school sweetheart, they broke up and ironically after she divorced her child's father they met up again and surprisingly he had divorced his wife as well and the chemistry was amazing, reminiscent of their days as high school lovers, it seemed time had stood still.

Only it hadn't she was now a mother and proud member of the Nation of Islam, dawning a head full of natural dreads, a more calm demeanor, and the pain and turmoil of marrying a wolf in sheep's clothing.

He wasn't the same either, he the retired Army medic was an MBA working on his doctorate, he spoke with an air of intelligence drowned in arrogance, and somehow him and my family just didn't quite click.

On 8.2.08 he went in the hospital, we the family thought nothing of it because he the retired Army medic has been in and out of rehab since they rekindled. Yes the scholar is also a crackhead, meth fiend, and basehead. Ironic.

But she made excuses and listed various war related stresses all the meanwhile they consistently pointed out the failures, shortcomings, and problems in our family. They even went as far as calling meetings at my grandparents house causing turmoil throughout our family and driving a wedge thru what was once a tight knit family

Then on 8.8.08 she called a family meeting, I neglected to attend. They called me. Because all while she moved away and lived with him and he was showing her how much better she was than her family he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He was not only a medic, a scholar, a father, a new husband (they are married), a drug addict, he was also bisexual-and now he is H.I.V positive. Now they need us to support them financially, spiritually, and mentally..funny how he turned us into we, them, they…and now we are who he needs.

This has never just been a blog, it's always been my life…family……lets all be safe, protect ourselves, be careful, and remember when all else fails-they (family) will be there when…sh!t hits the fan.

Be blessed Signed,

Me.

If ...

Everything happens in 3's
what's next?

(A picture of Isaac Hayes & Bernie Mac ...also Samuel Jackson)

RIP

According to CNN, Soul singer and actor Isaac Hayes, who won Grammy awards and an Oscar for the theme from the 1971 action film “Shaft,” has died.

Relatives found Hayes, 65, unconscious in his Tennessee home next to a still-running treadmill, said Steve Schular, a spokesman for the Shelby County Sheriff’s Department. Paramedics attempted to revive him and took him to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead shortly after 2 p.m., the sheriff’s department said.

No foul play is suspected, the agency said in a written statement.

Coincidently, Issac Hayes is co-starring in the upcoming movie Soul Men with Bernie Mac, who passed away on Saturday from Pneumonia.

This was a really good tribute to him...

by Alan Sepinwall/The Star-Ledger

Saturday August 09, 2008, 12:18 PM

Bernie Mac, right, with "Bernie Mac Show" creator Larry Wilmore

"My comedy comes from pain," Bernie Mac once told me. "I can't stand to see someone hurting."

Whatever pain Bernie suffered over the years -- from racism or family turmoil or his chronic battles with sarcoidosis -- is gone. He died today in a Chicago hospital due to complications from pneumonia. He was 50.

Though I discovered him relatively late in his life, I was a Bernie Mac fan, whether it was on his Fox sitcom, or in the "Ocean's Eleven" movies, or even less-successful projects like "Mr. 3000" (which I own on DVD). But rather than tell you why Bernie was cool, I'll let him tell you himself. After the jump I'm including the full text of a profile I wrote of him in April of 2002, midway through the first season of "The Bernie Mac Show."

Bernie Mac, like many male celebrities, has a tendency to refer to himself in the third person:

"Bernie Mac is happy." "Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat." "Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say."

This sort of third-person pose ordinarily comes across as hubris, but it makes sense for Bernie Mac, since there are really three different Bernie Macs.

There's Bernie Mac, the angry, hard-edged comic made famous to black audiences as part of the Original Kings of Comedy revue. There's Bernie Mac, the cantankerous suburban dad at the center of Fox's popular new sitcom of the same name. And there's Bernie Mac, born Bernard McCullough, the 44-year-old Chicago son who has spent his entire life preparing for the popularity of his two alter egos.

All three Bernie Macs look the same, talk the same and dress the same, favoring billowing silk shirts and shiny suits. They often act the same. The stand-up routine is loosely based on Mac's real life. The sitcom is a kinder, gentler version of the stand-up act. You could call the comic the id, the TV character the ego and the man the superego, but however you categorize them, Bernard McCullough likes to keep the three Bernie Macs separate.

"I've created Bernie Mac," he says, "the guy who'll go out and say any g- damn thing. So when the people wrote (about the Original Kings movie), 'Bernie Mac was hard, Bernie Mac was blue, Bernie Mac was raunchy,' I didn't get angry, I didn't get upset. Because I knew it was another side of Bernie that you all just had no idea of knowing.

"When I put the mic away, I'm done with that guy. That guy that you're talking to now is not the guy on stage. It takes me 15 minutes to get into that guy. It takes me 30 minutes to let go, because he's so agressive, he's so non-stop. Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience."

Mac has been pleasing audiences for years, but it's only in the last two that he's gone from Bernie Mac: Popular Black Comedian to Bernie Mac: Phenomenon.

"I love making people happy," he says. "That's what got me in this business."

One Sunday night when he was four or five, Mac found his mother crying in front of the television. She refused to explain the cause of her tears, and before her young son could press any further, Bill Cosby came onto "The Ed Sullivan Show" and started doing a routine about snakes in the bathroom.

"And my mother started laughing and crying at the same time," he says now, the story so frequently told that he could probably do it in his sleep. "And when I saw my mother laugh, I started laughing, and I wiped her face and said, "Mom, that's what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be a comedian, so you never have to cry again.'"

He did his first comedy routines in his childhood bedroom, using an empty shoe polish bottle as a microphone and keeping his brothers awake with corny jokes and impressions. His mother and one of his brothers died within a year of each other, both while Mac was a teenager, and he can recite the details of his mother's fatal battle with breast cancer with the same passion and precision he uses on stage.

"My comedy comes from pain," he says. "I can't stand to see someone hurting."

Always a below-average student with the potential to do better, Mac buckled down after his mother's death, but comedy was calling. After high school he began a string of odd jobs all designed to sustain he and wife, Rhonda, while he chased his stand-up dreams.

He was a janitor, a professional mover, a schoolbus driver for handicapped children and a fast food restaurant manager. He briefly spent his days telling jokes and doing impressions on the El trains, but despite a daily take that he estimates at $400, he gave it up "because I felt like a bum."

At the end of a long day's work, he would go to a comedy club, write his name on the board and wait for his turn to come. For years, it either wouldn't come at all or wouldn't come until there were two people left in the building - "Me and the janitor."

No matter how many people were left in the audience, Mac would get on stage and do his routine. The hard work literally paid off in 1990, when he won $3,000 in a local comedy contest. At the time, he was working as a sales rep for Wonder Bread, but the more popular he became on the club circuit, the less he wanted to push bread to pay the bills.

On the day before Thanksgiving, his thoughts were consumed by the three standing ovations he'd received the night before. He dumped his entire load of bread at only five stores - "They had bread in the frozen food department, that's how much bread I gave them all" - called his boss and quit.

With his attention fixed on comedy full-time, Mac's career flourished. An appearance on the TV show "Def Comedy Jam" caught the attention of Damon Wayans, who cast him in the movie "Mo' Money." He found regular film and television work after that, usually in small roles, but the part he always felt most comfortable playing was himself.

He likes to tell the story of the night he watched from the wings as Flip Wilson bombed in front of a club audience. As Wilson's jokes failed, someone in the audience yelled, "Do Geraldine!" Wilson reached into his coat, donned the wig he used to wear as the most famous character from his variety show, and said, "Y'all want to see Geraldine? You got her, honey!"

The Geraldine bit drew laughter and applause, and Wilson quickly got off stage. Mac approached him and told him how great he was.

"You thought so?" Wilson asked, holding up the wig. "This bitch got more laughs than I did."

While the Bernie Mac who appears on stage is an exaggerated, angrier version of the real thing, he's still Bernie Mac, and most of the stories he tells in his act have roots in Bernie Mac's life.

His most famous routine, and the one that serves as the basis for the sitcom, has Mac becoming the guardian to his junkie sister's three kids. In reality, the story is a blend of two real incidents: Mac briefly took in his gang-banging niece Toya and her daughter Monique; while a friend of his had to raise her junkie sister's children long-term.

"My sister's really mad at me to this day, because people think it's her (in the act)," he says.

Mac refined his material, always walking the knife edge between comedy and tragedy, and in 1997 he teamed up with Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric the Entertainer to form the Original Kings, a traveling revue that, with scant press attention, became the highest-grossing comedy tour of all time and inspired a hit movie version in 2000 directed by Spike Lee.

In the movie, like most nights on the tour, Mac was given the honor of the closing spot, a testament to the power of his material and the fact that nobody wanted to go on after him. While his three partners all had TV shows at the time, it was always Mac's politically incorrect material that audiences came away talking about.

In addition to the stories about his "sister" and her kids, the jokes covered Mac's desire to bring back capital punishment ("I'll kick my kid in his sleep," he joked) and the ubiquity of a particular swear word in black culture.

At one point, he joked that people in the TV business were "afraid" to give him a series, a comment that caught the attention of comic/producer Larry Wilmore ("The PJ's"), who after laughing hysterically at "Kings" desperately wanted to do a series with Mac.

Mac and Wilmore, who had met on the set of the Eddie Murphy movie "Life," set about adapting Mac's old-school family values into a series for Fox: "Bernie Mac," the best black family sitcom since "The Cosby Show" and one of the most innovative, appealing sitcoms of any color in recent years.

In every episode, Bernie tells his troubles to the unseen audience - "America, you see what these kids put me through?" - an idea adapted from the way Wilmore saw Mac speak to his stand-up audience.

"He really treated the audience like they were in his living room and talked to him like they were his family," Wilmore says. "As far as Bernie's concerned, the audience is family. They're not even guests in his house. They're more family than the kids."

The show has been one of the few bright spots in a rough television season, and Fox executives have been so pleased with its performance that they gave Mac and Wilmore permission to literally take the show on the road for the season finale, a one-hour episode that will be filmed on location in Mac's hometown.

Mac recently made another big-screen splash as one of the thieves in "Ocean's Eleven" - the scene where he complains that blackjack should be called "whitejack" often gets the biggest laugh in the film - and has released a book, "I Ain't Scared of You: Bernie Mac on How Life Is." He thinks his long climb to the top has prepared him for the tough task of staying there.

"I want to come in every week, every single week, and I want to show you all that Bernie Mac is not a fluke. And I mean that. And I'm gonna show you that."

Alan Sepinwall can be reached at asepinwall@starledger.com. Please include your full name and hometown info.

See more in Alan Sepinwall

Walk In My Life

So I picked random songs (Thanks TC for schooling me on Imeem) I am just going to drop them here and there..this is called, "Walk In My Life," it was produced by my friend Daneja and though I never thought it was one of the "BEST," I always thought it was something I needed to say....

Enjoy...

negative and positive feedback is great.

#$%!@!!!!!

Have you ever walked into a wall?
Not in the physical sense but mentally...or emotionally walked into a wall?
Forget it let's talk physically have you walked into a wall??
You feel dumb, and on top of it all it hurts!

Shit's not cool...

So tell me why, no matter how many times I've walked into this wall....when he called I walked head first into the same fucking wall?

More on this to come.

PS can someone tell me how I can post songs on my blog I wanna preview different ones each post and get feedback but honestly I don't know how....

Thx.

I GOT THESE!

So today I bought these...the Nike "Nikebook" Dunks.

They look exactly like a composition book sorry the pic doesn't do them justice. But considering I write my raps either in my sidekick, on my laptop, or in a notebook exactly like this I figured these are my perfect match lol the look like me!

My Sk Slizzii didn't really show a clear pic, so I got these pics from the website only DIFFERENCE is my are low tops these are high but you get the effect..

I've also come to a grueling decision......

I am getting a new cellphone...yes I have been with Tmobile since they were Powertel then Voicestream then Tmobile,  and yes I have had the SK1 Sk2 Sk3 and the Sk Slizzzziii which I am in love with...unfotunately I fallen head over heals for someone else....

So thanks to my high friends in low places I got the phone I want and the plan I want with no deposits or fees lol. So when my contract is up in September after a long relationship starting when my mom first handed me my prepaid phone, that I promptly traded for a better phone....and then the sk1 I will now be 

moving.

 

This is who's stolen my heart. The LG VU from AT&T I love him and he loves me and for him I will leave the Sk Slizzi.....

Ugh.

While I was off....

I think I caught this on Eb the Celeb Blog, I am not sure...but I am going to give her the credit for right now. I sat and watched this today on my off day with my babes. The movie is called, "Cover Up," and it's amazing. I refuse to tell you the plot because it's that good.

PS Read my previous post/new poem....what do you think of it?

Thanx

When I grow up...

When I grow up I want to leave mental footprints
Down the spine of your soul

I want to breath liquid thoughts
Into the glass that is you

I'd like paint pictures of happiness in your future
with long brush strokes

Dipping your brush into my vibrant colors of paint
Until we wash the canvas with the beauty that is us....

But all that will have to wait...until I grow up..

*Dopeness in a bottle*

The Dopest Line ever...

"Our ignorance in the same breath as our innocence-CeeLo"

I was flipping through my SK Slizzi MP3 player, just trying to get in the mood to write when I came across Common, do you know what dope is? Dope in a bottle is Common!

I'm not in love with him....but if I could pour liquid thoughts of mental reflection in my soul, it would be from the glass of Common (Don't act brand new about that line my writing is still there..lol) He's just that elequent lyrical beast that I'd most like to be compared to....

LMAO..

I don't know why I found this funny, but I did.
Seriously--I hate to see your a$$ just like anyone else but really come on fines and jail time for this? Seriously people...

Taken from my sis Honey Libra

I don't usually do Tags…but I like this one…

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

 

*Ed. Note I picked the lines that appealed to me and put them under each song..

 

Justin Nozuka "After Tonight"

I know that after tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

No, No, No, No

I know by the end of tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

I know that if the love is alright

You won't have to look up at the starts

No, No, No, No

I know by the end of tonight

You don't have to look up at the stars

 

I love that joint! His voice is sultry and he plays an acoustic guitar *classic*

 

Mario "Lay in My Bed"

I don't wanna fight, I would rather kiss you

Come into this room, baby

Let me show you how I miss you

What I gotta do to show you that I need you

Baby, I'm back, do what you want me to

Please spend the night

I wanna make this right

So what you leaving for? (leaving for)

Shawty close that door

We oughta be making love instead of breaking up

Come on, baby, let me show you I'm for real

Lay in my bed

 

One of the realest tracks I have ever listened to, those are words I have whispered before…I don't wanna fight, I would rather kiss you mannnnnnn!

 

Usher "Moving Mountains"

….Lately I've been sleeping with a ghost

My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold

That was before the great depression kicked in and rocked

And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us

I told you to leave but you lied to me

When you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back

I know sorrys just wouldn't do it

My hear it obliterated, Im just trying to travel through it

But it's like moving mountains…

 

For some reason I relate to that song.

 

New Edition "Can you Stand the Rain"
on a perfect day i know that i can count on you. when that's not possible tell 
me can you weather the storm?
cause i need some body who will stand by me through the good times and the bad 
times she will always, always be right there.
sunny days everybody loves them tell me baby can you stand the rain?

storms will come this we know for sure(this we know for sure) can you stand the rain?

 

*Classic* nuff said

 

Ralph Tresvant "Never Noticed"

Every since you went away living hasn't the been the same..

Never noticed how much I love you

Til the day you said goodbye for good

If I knew what I know now now my love…

I'm just thinkin' about it…

 

This was an incredibly slept on album. It was Called Rizzwafair and it was hotness. Plus I used to want to marry this guy.

 

Monica "With You"

So play me a melody
No matter what you find 
Somethin' to roll to, somethin' to ease my mind
Just play me a melody
No matter what you find
Somethin' to roll to, when we're chillin' in your ride
Cause I love (I love) kickin' it with you
Me and you, gettin' it on
So baby, slide a tape in boy
You know, to play our song
Chillin', ridin' to the music
Laid back low, when I'm with you
When I'm with you

 

Monica's voice on this is so sultry. I think it's a mellow light the candles hang with the dude type song.

 

Alicia Keys "Diary"

Lay your head on my pillow 
Here you can be yourself 
No one has to know what you are feeling 
No one but me and you 
I won't tell your secrets 
Your secrets are safe with me 
I will keep your secrets 
Just think of me as the pages in your diary 

 

Feels like my life coming out of her mouth….

 

 

 

Ha! part 2 found my post saved in my phone!!!

Ha, found my post which was for Monday in my sidekick slizzzziii whoo!


This weekend I got a much needed break, I was off Saturday and Sunday after consistently working 17 days straight. Of course something had to occur if I'm blogging about it lol..

Friday: I had dinner and drinks with some friends (sounds so sophisticated doesn't it?) It was good conversation, food, drinks, and laughs..I can't complain.

Saturday: I grabbed my laptop, m-audio and me and Champ worked on some material for his new album and I worked on a few beats and some material for my STILL incomplete cd. We got a lot done and finished about...3.

Then my dude came over (highlight of my day!), between his schedule and mine our time together is quite minimal so what did we do during this special one on one time? Fall asleep. He came over we then we fell asleep..until my stomach started growling! Lol not his just mine. So I begged and he got up went to Spaghetti Wherehouse and brought home take out *yummm* and then we.....slept.

Sunday
After a much needed relaxing day I was ready to not only get my Jesus on but to also prepare for the week ahead. During the preparation mom texts me. (Insert happy face my mom can text!) But then I read the message! "Con, can you come home. Your cuzzo was in an accident in Waycross totaled her car, and needs a ride home to NC" I text her back. "Hell no, thanks!" Ugh but my conscious eats at me and I drag my bones out of bed..drive 6 hours to Waycross pick her and her two kids up (one who's 3 and keeps singing twinkle twinkle little star louder than the radio) and her 12 year old crybaby son. We get going on the road and the three year old girl cold cocks her big brother right in the eye. What does he do? Cry...I look at my babes and tell him I can't take it, we pull over at the slowest Burger King ever..I think they actually called the King he came from Burger King Land, slaughtered the animals, and prepared the meals. Sucks but I had to have a veggie burg...and not kill my little cuzzo's while their mom sat in the back and texts away..anyway we drive back, everyone falls asleep except my babes who's doing random things to keep me awake...and after 6 hours I make it back to my beautiful, ugly, city, Atlanta at 7:57a with enough time to kiss my babes, watch him leave , (thank God PT was optional today... ) shower, and get to work..to type this...

Somehow in my exhaustion I'm thinking this is going to be a long week.

Ugh Kick Rocks!

$@%)*#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That title represents how annoyed I am! ugh, I posted all about my weekend and it was erased by the Blogger demon. Damn it! I don't even feel like updating...I have to go to work at 2 which sucks...so maybe I will re-type it then.

For now I am a lazy bum and I thinking...hey...at least it's NOT Monday.

I Told You Tom Gurl!

I told you I would blog more Tom Gurl!

 

Life has been consistently inconsistent for me as usual, my birthday was ok. I have been hard at work (not) on my cd. I've been working or (not) working on my Cd for about a year. Why am I still at a standstill? I guess because it's my child…my baby. I am giving birth to my creativity and letting it bare my soul naked... That's a little scary. I actually decided to put myself on a deadline. So hopefully it will work well for me, wish me luck. Two blogs in the same week…I told you Tom Gurl.

 

Kick Rocks!

A.P.T. Song - Obama Obama (Lil Wayne

I am a huge Obama supporter, not because he is Black, but because I agree it is time for a change.


I think I am going to blog more......thanks for the birthday wishes I love you guys...and guess what?? I mean it this time..I am going to blog more.

How come...

Random Thoughts From The Desk (Ok Sidekick) of Con Inc..

* How come after you're freshly showered and clean it's more apparent when someone else is smelly.

* How come I got friends who forget to call me during the goodtimes, but I carry them during their bad?

* How come this dude does not smell himself?

*How come this lil kid got a "scoop" hair cut.

* How come I saw TI out and about and he like my height...ok taller than me but not by much.

* How come Steve Harvey cracks me the hell up??

* How come Holcomb Bridge Park is waaaay away from me but rocks!

*How come this dude pit hairs next to me makes me want to braid them?

*How come my birthday Sunday and I know I will top last year because the celebration starts tomorrow bitches!

Whoever says....

You can't find everything in your local Winn Dixie is a mo fo liar. If you've never seen Krush Groove you don't know what you're missing...Sheila E, Run Dmc, Fat Boys, New Edition, YOUNG LL COOL J, Kurtis Blow....whats hip hop? THIS MOVIE!

Then End was the biggest cypher...

me singing...Krush Grooooovin.....

Learn the words step your game up

Fly pics...

I love colorful & different pics...I dont know what it is but I love a good picture. Below are some hot ones I saw this week of Angela Simmons, NERD, and Nas...Enjoy

So um.....you voting?

This is quite politically humorous...

drops mic...

The Ducks Lackey....

Man it's been a minute since I updated, so! Maybe I wanted to leave you cliff hanging!

Anyway-my new job is cool no complaints thus far. All the people are even amazing.

Now the recap on the Duck's Lackey The T.R to come later...

First at the duck's HQ we all signed a "Ethics form," for those of you not familar, an Ethics form is a form that basically says I rep the duck and I will behave myself. So, when I moved to Atlanta and began working under the Lackey I expected the same respect. For the most part I got it...however once the lackey began dating his female counterpart she didn't care for me. Looking back I wonder did the fact that his fiance like me cause a problem? Or maybe it could be that she ( the female lackey) spews Bible quotes and proclaims Christian but sleeps w/an engaged man? Idk either way she did her best to sh!t on me. But you can't out hate a hater... My mom always said don't fight even...fight to win. So after weeks of crap, I went in on a Sunday completed my work so I left no shoe untied no I undotted and then I quit, but first I called my moms BFF who's a very high person in the Duck's HQ's and explained the situation. AT (my moms friend) took care of it and a week before Employee appreciation he was demoted. What's funny is, I've always believed that if you mess w/someone sinner or saint if they believe in God, and have a strong religous or spiritual beliefs then you're f*cked. I mean the Bible does say touch not mine annointed ones right? How does that play in? Well the lackey's whore advised him to get a camera in the office to watch me since he's gone often. Then they had sex in the same office, when it came time to "prove," he was being unethical, the tape itself told. And since he was working on closing a huge account, Coca Cola...they no longer want to work with him..which ultimately cost him and the Duck Millions... Funny how that worked out huh?

Kick Rocks.

Stay tuned..no time to chat right now

Omg so much happened in a week.. I am too lazy to update but here's the briefing....

-Walked out of my job. Never done anything like that before but it was time for a change, there's only so much abuse you can take. Also reported the Duck's lackey to the Duck's Headquarters and wow...change actually happened. Long story short-he's been demoted.

-The T.R. for those who frequent my blog...(TR-Trifling roommate) the first one you know the slore...aka cumbucket man I got a story about my weekend adventure involving her. LOL. But again not now children....

-Started a new job within 3 days of leaving my job........feeling good feeling great.

So for the most part...life is moving.....and I am moving with it.

Crazy Girl On Train.

NO WORDS..

DOPE!

Dopest thing I've seen in a long time. I WANT THIS.

UGH!

I am sitting here watching CSI MIAMI and it was the Kandi Alexander's last show. She is not on the new ones anymore. I quit this show...ok wait I love Horatio too. Ugh I am torn between my loyalty!

WAIT!! WAIT!! WAIT!!

*NO NAMES WILL BE WITHHELD SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THE GUILTY PARTY IS!*
KICK ROCKS SNITCHES

So on Saturday I was home in Columbus, GA visiting some family. My mother and I went to the RITE AID ON MACON RD formerly CVS & Eckerds---you KNOW THE ONE RIGHT ACROSS FROM BREWSTER’S ICE CREAM!!! I am strolling down the toy aisle as I tend to do, wondering should I get the game of “Life” and whoop my little brother’s a$$ ….but at $24.99 I opted not to. So I continue down the aisle reading the magazines (yep I am the one who reads them before I buy them lol). I drop the magazines and move over to the color books, anyone who knows me, knows I am obsessed with coloring.

So I pick up a few hot new coloring books when I spot it….who in the hell told Crayola to create 96 CRAYONS WITH A SHARPENER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell??? I am sitting here thinking my sh!t don’t stink because I got the 64 WITH the sharpener in the back and low and behold I have been bamboozled, hijacked, shanked in the side!!!! What the hell???? 32 more crayons than I have ever seen? OMG, I am devastated…. I run back to the pharmacy where my mom is and show her---I then proceed to walk around the entire store trying to figure out how this travesty occurred. Looking, comparing, and analyzing which crayons I don’t have. Ugh, I am devastated. Okay and maybe it isnt RITE AIDS FAULT...BUT FOR NOW THEY TAKE THE BLAME STUPID HEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drops Mic I am pissed.

Monday Addictions....

It seems like with gas prices I should be less addicted...but I am not. I copped both pairs of these this weekend. The lower ones are the Nike Women's Pinstripe Blazer OMG their fly!!!! Yessir I still say Fly. The above ones are the Nike Blazer Plaid edition...I really wanted the Nike Blazer High Lemon Frost----but them shits was too high however they are still beautiful.

WELCOME TO 2008

Police not guilty in groom's death

NEW YORK (CNN) -- A judge acquitted three New York Police Department detectives of all charges Friday morning in the shooting death of an unarmed man in a 50-bullet barrage, hours before he was to be married.

Detectives Michael Oliver and Gescard Isnora were found not guilty of charges of manslaughter, assault and reckless endangerment in the death of Sean Bell, 23, and the wounding of two of his friends.

Detective Marc Cooper was acquitted of reckless endangerment.

Justice Arthur Cooperman said he found problems with the prosecution's case. He said some prosecution witnesses contradicted themselves, and he cited prior convictions and incarcerations of witnesses.

He also cited the demeanor of some witnesses on the stand.

As the judge read his decision, Nicole Paultre Bell -- Sean Bell's fiancee before his death -- ran from the courtroom, saying, "I've got to get out of here."

The announcement immediately sparked anger among some in the crowd outside the courthouse.

The Rev. Al Sharpton called for calm Wednesday. He was accompanied by Bell's fiancee and other supporters on the steps of City Hall.

Bell, 23, was killed just before dawn on his wedding day, November 25, 2006. He and several friends were winding up an all-night bachelor party at the Kalua Club in Queens, a strip club that was under investigation by a NYPD undercover unit looking into complaints of guns, drugs and prostitution.

Undercover detectives were inside the club, and plain-clothes officers were stationed outside.

Witnesses said that about 4 a.m., closing time, as Bell and his friends left the club, an argument broke out. Believing that one of Bell's friends, Joseph Guzman, was going to get a gun from Bell's car, one of the undercover detectives followed the men and called for backup.

What happened next was at the heart of the trial, prosecuted by the assistant district attorney in Queens.

Bell, Guzman and Trent Benefield got into the car, with Bell at the wheel. The detectives drew their weapons, said Guzman and Benefield, who testified that they never heard the plain-clothes detectives identify themselves as police.

Bell was in a panic to get away from the armed men, his friends testified.

But the detectives thought Bell was trying to run down one of them, according to their lawyers, believed that their lives were in danger and started shooting.

In a frantic 911 call, police can be heard saying, "Shots fired. Undercover units involved."

A total of 50 bullets were fired by five NYPD officers. Only three were charged with crimes.

Oliver, who reloaded his semiautomatic in the middle of the fray, fired 31 times, Isnora fired 11 times, and Cooper, whose leg was brushed by Bell's moving car, fired four times, the NYPD said.

No gun was found near Bell or his friends.

Soon after his death, Bell's fiancee, Nicole Paultre, legally changed her name to Nicole Paultre Bell. She is now raising the couple's two daughters, ages 5 and 1.

"I tell [them] that Daddy's in heaven now," she said. "He's watching over us. He's our guardian angel. He's going to be here to protect us and make sure nothing happens to us."

Detectives Endowment Association President Michael Palladino said forensic and scientific evidence presented during the seven-week trial contradicts the testimony of prosecution witnesses.

But Paultre Bell's father, Lester Paultre, said, "For those naysayers who say the police was doing their job, they should imagine their child in that car being shot by the police for no reason."

Paultre Bell, Guzman and Benefield have filed a wrongful-death lawsuit in federal court that has been stayed pending the outcome of the criminal trial. Guzman was shot 16 times, and four bullets, too dangerous to remove, remain in his body, according to his lawyer, Sanford Rubenstein.

Federal prosecutors in the Eastern District of New York have been monitoring the trial. In the event of an acquittal, it is likely authorities would conduct a review to determine whether there were any civil rights violations. All three victims were African-American

What is Music to me?

Music is

My Love
My Pain
My Hustle
My Struggle
My Success
My Downfall
My Happiness
My Stress
My Structure
My Breakdown
My Savior
My Corruption
My Faith
My Atheist
My Heaven
My Hell
My Glory
My Fall
My Story
My Fiction
My Water
My Dehydration
My Air
My Last Breathe
My LifeMy Death
My Dedication
My Impatience
My Ambition
My Procrastination



Everything I go thru to be where I wanna be the struggle is worth it....

Oh yeah some people wanted to see the pics from the Jay Z concert, I am too lazy to post them but you can look on www.myspace.com/chanakacdot and they are there.

Heart Of The City....

"I'm taking out this time
To give you a piece of my mind
Who do you think you are
Baby one day you'll be a star
But until the last day, I'm the one who's crazy
'Cause that's the way you making me feel (can't knock the hustle)
I don't want no romance, I just want the chance
Can't knock the hustle for real"- Jay-Z featuring Mary J. Blige Can't Knock the Hustle

So I spent my Saturday in Greensboro-enjoying the "Heart Of The City Tour," I will be the first to admit I am not the biggest Mary fan, I mean I used to be. But I kinda fell off, I can easily admit that. Anyway---the concert has completely restored my faith in her. Both Mary and Jay killlllllled it. The set opened with them on a screen each talking about the others impact on music--then they both appeared simultaneously performing, "Can't knock the Hustle," Mary shouts Jay & B out with the congratulations and Jay exits stage left. Mary then performs a pleather yes I said pleather of her old hits---You're all I need, No More Drama, I am Going Down, and the list goes on and on.....She then does Real Love and Hov comes out and does Nice (from Nice and Smooth's) rap Clas---sick!

Jay comes out and does he set---and murders it. Memphis Bleek joins him on stage (I've always been a Bleek fan) hands down...overall good show. One problem- no camera's were allowed and they searched you to make sure you didn't bring in a cam. So two of my friends had to go all the way back to the car to put away camera's. Did I have a cam? Guess they didn't search hard enough huh....

You see the pics and if u got me on myspace YOU SEE THE PICS. KICK ROCKS I'M MY OWN PAPARAZZI

Anywho Happy Hump Day Homies.

*Monday*

Monday's are always really busy and I am too tired when I get home to update..

RIP Sean Levert

CLEVLAND -- Sean Levert, the younger brother of R&B singer Gerald Levert and son of Eddie Levert of the O'Jays, died late Sunday night. Levert, 39, died at 11:57 p.m. at Lutheran Hospital after being transported to the facility from the Cuyahoga County Jail. Sean Levert had gone to the jail infirmary complaining he was sick. It was in November that Sean Levert started singing again. He talked with NewsChannel5 about finishing a project -- bringing the group back together -- that his brother started. Gerald Levert died Nov. 10, 2006. He was found dead in his bed at his Newbury home."Sometimes I'll have my moments, but right now I think I'm in a happier stage thinking about the good times we had together," Sean Levert had said.Gerald Levert started his career as the lead singer of the R&B trio Levert before pursuing a solo career.

LMAO

This is hilarious.....

"Good Friday is observed on the Friday before Easter Sunday. On this day Christians commemorate the passion, or suffering, and death on the cross of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Many Christians spend this day in fasting, prayer, repentance, and meditation on the agony and suffering of Christ on the cross."

Dear God,

It’s been a long time since we talked and I know that I haven’t been the model “Saint,” but…then again how can I say “but” to you. You know what I’ve done…what I haven’t done. Please forgive me. I can be a lot of things, but a liar I am not. So if I say I am going to try harder that’s probably a lie so rather I will say I will try harder to at least “try.”

I decided on this day to take a moment to reflect, although our headquarters in Columbus is officially closed, and all states offices are closed, I work for a regional office and guess what? We’re open. But you know what? I am so thankful I at least have a job. Thank you for that.

It seems lately I have had so many trials and tribulations, school has been a financial drain, I guess it doesn’t pay to want something more in life. I continuously tell myself LUKE 6:21 in fact I thought of tattooing that somewhere just to remind myself that there is something coming for me and I will not be broken. Last week-I felt broken. I felt like why me. I was pushed to my limit..I fell…but determination led me to continue to crawl…I was pushed over and I was down….thank you for carrying me.

Sometimes I feel like I am a glutton for punishment, recently, you’ve shown me that isn’t true. I am not a glutton for punishment. More so I am destined for greatness I decided to read the bible more. And that’s when you showed me that I was wrong. Mark 10:31-the last shall be first. Something more important is planned for me, so at this point I must take my time and learn. Pain is growth, growth is change, and change is life...in essence I am living life.

Always,

C.

TWO POSTS...ONE DAY

*Insert Confused Pissed Look Here* Damn I wish I had that face Tam uses and I am too lazy to copy and paste it....

Question----Did "he," just leave his shit on my nightstand?

Is that like a calling card????

*Rolls eyes...tonight was such a waste of time. I could have had a friggin V-8*

Drops Mic...

(This will probably say Thursday...but since I havent slept yet....2 post one day)

Kick Rocks.

Side note---this is the DOPEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN ASIDE FROM HER VIDEO!

How We Met

I know I said Tuesday.....sue me.

I met this girl, when I was ten years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me
On the regular, not a church girl she was secular
Not about the money, no studs was mic checkin her-Common “I used to love Her”

When I was 10 years old my family was stationed in Ft. Bliss Texas. One of my aunts whom I will call Beau”T”y because of her love for fashion and ability to create one of kind outfits for us, came to live with us. Although at the time I was 10 she and I were very close, as my stepfather is much older than all of his siblings. (She’s only about 9 or 10 years older than me.) Anyway, she met this guy who was a dj and the three of became inseparable. She used to take me to all the little house parties, she actually introduced me to Slick Rick, Scarface-as a solo artist, Mc Hammer, Common, just a mass variety of music that I honestly had no clue about at 10 years old.

I remember the first house party she took me too, I felt so fly. She had made me these custom “Hammer Pants,” they were white and had black music notes and clef notes all over them. Man I was hot. Ft. Bliss is actually near the Mexican border so all the Mexican kids were always hanging around near Base and man they were diggin’ my threads lol. So anyway, we get to the party and it’s like my eyes were opened to something I have never seen before in my life. No black, no white, just music.

Mr. Dj takes Beauty and I up to the Dj area. I was amazed. My aunt proceeded to hit the dance floor. But me, I wanted to see him work. He told me:

“ these are technics two 1200 and this thing in the middle is the brain..the mixer. If anyone ever tells you to buy something else, don’t listen. Go get a chair, and sit here.”

He plugged in a spare set of headphones and I proceeded to learn how to make love to a crowd. That was my first hit and instantly I was an addict. Weeks went on and I went with Beauty and Dj to all kinds of parties at the YAC (youth activity center), and anywhere else. He taught me how to mix, how to match beats, even made me carry equipment because if I dj’d one day…I would have to learn to carry own stuff. No one is going to do it for me. He even got me my first set of tables and a mixer the Gemini’s they sucked a$$ but what do you expect for 99.99 he got the mixer, tables, and headphones, all in one box but he told me if I wanted to learn I had to crawl then walk. (This is the exact set up, although it's in storage..I still have it.)

A few months past, and by now I am dj’ing and I loved it. Dj-had taught me so much except that life sometimes isn’t always as it appears. Despite being a soldier he was also a drug dealer and got caught up in some things that resulted in him doing 20 years in prison…me and my aunt went to court everyday that summer to support him. When the judge said 20 years with no parole. I was devastated. A few weeks past and his brother came by our house. He handed my aunt a letter and told me he had a package. It was the Technic 1200’s and the brain and a note, looks like I won’t be using these for a while. I still use those 12’s to this day and I always remember…how we met.

Mondays Suck I will update Tuesday

LMAO!!!

I am...

Seriously debating..........

RIP GIZMO

Today my mom informed me that she let my beloved Gizmo out and she was hit by a car. I am devasted.

RIP GIZMO.

Monday Morning Blues

On 02/10/2008 my beloved Sidekick 3 was killed in a fatal car accident. I have been so completely devastated. I mean how do you replace something that was so near and dear to your heart?? My most accomplished moments were captured on its sweet little 1.3 Megapixel eye… Not to mention all of our sweetest melodies were relaxed on a sweet 2gig SD card. *SIGH* Alas our love affair is over…. I called the coroner (Asurion) to report his death….Surely they could not replace him. No…I cannot bare to touch another SK3’s keys…the pain would just be too much. Alas….the representative feeble attempts to console me are brightened when I hear….ma’am…we offer you a brand new SK SLIDE….Hmmm look at it's beauty...it's sleeker than my previous love, the screen is so much more vivid...my micro sd fits snug inside it's belly...*gasp* the melodies are back. They vision impaired eye shows my accomplished moments (aka random shots of me doing nothing, eating something, or taking a picture in the inside of my pocket because I forgot to keyguard...) Oh how my hope has been restored in the world again.

RIP SK3 we had a great run....06/28/2006-02-10/2008



Welcome to the family Sidekick Slide

Well ok...

I don't know if you can see the pic but Britney is almost platinum....almost 1million sold....

That's all I have to say today.

I am....So hip hop...

I bought these shirts....ya dig?






I notice I only really update/post on Thursdays now...so real update tomorrow I guess lol.

By the way I got the shirts from: http://www.radiofuturamusic.com stop by and show them some support.

C.