Wind Down Wednesday

*Ed Note if you asked me a question in the comments, I just started responding to those a few days ago lol so I may have responded there.*

"The time has come for bad things to end

The time has come for life to begin"

Ludacris War With God.

Well, it’s Wind down Wednesday. Okay for some it’s still Tuesday, but for me it’s Wednesday. I’ve never really been a “sleeper,” actually neither is my mother or grandmother. Maybe I inherited something. Either way I am usually up until roughly 2,3,4 in the morning. Then I sleep for an hour or two go to class and move on with my day.
You know, I feel so blessed, high favored, and undeserving of the life I live. Granted there are good days, as well as bad days, but most importantly there are days. I could have laid down and took the sleep of death. But instead, here I am awake, blessed to live another day. Thank you God.
Sometimes I wonder what did I do that was so amazing that God continues to bless me. The answer-nothing. But yet it still happens. I want to be a better person. I feel like I don’t try hard enough at times. People tell me I am a good person, one person even told me , “your mother raised some wonderful children.” That made me feel great.
But I still want to try harder to be a better person. Better for my mother who worked all day, attended school all night while trying to become a teacher, and enduring her husband who was cheating on her, but still had time just for me. For my sister who is a 22 year old officer in the US Army and believes in fighting for my right to live in this country that I take for granted quite often yet still has the innocence to laugh at the jokes printed on the laffy taffy candy. For my little brother who is 8 and has to know that I love him more than life itself because I tell him on a daily basis, even when he makes a 3 or 4 in school, knowing he is capable of a perfect 5 in behavior.
For that dude, who is more than anyone could ever understand. To have your bestfriend support you like no one else on the planet, even though you won’t commit, you can be difficult on purpose, you’re afraid to love him whole heartedly, you fear the idea of waking up and he’s not around, and he knows all this and still puts up with your *ish daily.
For friends that put up with my insecurities, my constant questions of my ability, and my talent and slap me back into reality. Those who feel like I am so strong, they can lean on me at any given moment, and those who have seen me weak and have let me crumble, put me back together again, and sent me on my way.
For my stepfather’s parents, my grandparents, who talk that crack to me. Translation: they talk that addictive talk, the talk that pushes me to be a better person, to strive to walk forward rather than backwards because I have choices and they did not.

For my unborn children who have to know that I am so in love with them even though they have yet to come into existence.
For you for reading my thoughts, making me laugh with your comments, and relating to my thoughts, pain, and struggles. Last but not least for me because I need to be a better person, I need to succeed, because I just need..it is because of these reasons I want to strive to be a better person. Lord Help Me.