Sunday, April 1, 2007

"Daddy, where have you been?"

"we doin real good
we don't miss you now
see how life twists around, fucker?"
Jay Z-Where Have You Been?

I remember when I was in the 7th grade, I got really sick at school. I needed someoneone to check me out of school. So I called my mom, who told me to call my God Mother, which I did. When she picked me up she said--I didnt know what last name you were under. Although I figured this question to be amazingly peculiar I never said anything. My God Mother is wonderful, she is so happy go lucky, so easy going. So despite the fact that I never said anything she continued to talk away. I remember it clearly she said, "I didn't know if your last name was ******** or my current last name,"..it was at that moment that my life changed. I went home, searched all of my mother's files in her filing cabinet and confirmed the truth.

My father was indeed not my father. The man I'd grown up with that I vagulely remember calling him by a family knickname for years before calling him "dad," wasn't my dad. He actually adopted me when I was two years old. But I remember being about 5 when I first called him dad...I guess I put all that in the back of my mind until the day I was checked out of school. It all came rushing back.

A couple of years ago--roughly about 4 I went to my mother's house to borrow a cd. When I got there my mom was placing all of my father's stuff in the back of her van. I didn't ask any questions because for a few years I've known that my father cheated on my mother. I really didn't have any proof but all of my cousins and I are close and some of my male cousins told me. Since our family is close I knew they had no reason to lie. Plus I've been there, I answered the calls. I knew the situation. So rather than say anything-my friend and I put down the cd's and went to my mothers room and started helping her pack. I remember that day too. My mom said, "Don't touch anything, I don't want him to think you're involved." I didn't listen I just helped my mother pack.

A few weeks later we (my sister and I) found out my father was married. He told us in the middle of the street that he remarried. He had another family. Another daughter, another wife, another everything... we later found out our "step mother," was a crack head.

Fast forward to the current day....

My stepfather moved back in with my mom a few weeks ago, they aren't back together but my mother let him come back because his marriage is over. Ironically..during his marriage my father never talked to me. He talked to my sister and brother who are both his biological children but he never said anything to me. Not one call in roughly 4 years. From the time he left until now we've gone through a lot. My sister went through a stage where she felt like my mom was wrong and ran my father off, my little brother became extremely clingy to my mom, and I felt like I had to be there for my mom. I couldn't move, I couldn't settle down with that dude, I coudn't move because my mom needed me. It was a huge amount of stress. And we (my mother, my brother, my sister and I) were divided completely. Now years later we have repaired our relationship, we are all close. We stand strong together and my father is an outsider.

I think he always wanted a son but him and my brother don't get along very much. I think it's because my brother is 8 and he left when my brother was roughly 3. Then he pops back up now and decides he is going to be daddy. I think they need to be friends first he needs to get to know my brother all over again. But he doesn't understand his military attitude is still firm.He doesn't know he loves basketball and wrestling, he loves french toast sticks and at "A," he makes them better than me. He doesn't know he (my brother) loves Thanksgiving but doesn't like dressing or stuffing. He doesn't know my broher.. After he left, we built a bond. A circle. My mom needed a car...I went to work I gave her 1500 for part of the down payment and my sister gave her the other 1500...she drives an amazing car, she was able to keep her house, she was able get her credit fixed. She was in a deep depressive hole, she didn't understand how she could go on. He was doing wonderful. Now he is basically a bum living with my mother. It's funny. We (the children) were always angry. My mom would always say we have to be nice. We have to be there with him because God will one day ask us what part did we play. She played a supportive friend and is still playing a supportive friend. He is being an asshole which is funny because he needs us now. He needs us..HE NEEDS US.

we doin real good
we don't miss you now
see how life twists around, fucker?

10 comments:

Mr.Slish said...

Kill him with kindness...Thats the worst kind of punishment...:)

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we have been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] quest of a sustained leisure things being what they are and grasp how to harness the colossal power of Xrumer and turn it into a Cash machine.

We also provender the cheapest prices on the market. Many competitors see fit charge 2x or temperate 3x and a a pile of the opportunity 5x what we pervade you. But we believe in providing enormous help at a debilitated affordable rate. The unbroken direct attention to of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we focusing to abide by that thought in mind and afford you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not solitary do we take the most successfully prices but our turnaround occasion for the treatment of your Xrumer posting is super fast. We compel have your posting done in the forefront you certain it.

We also provide you with a ample log of affluent posts on contrary forums. So that you can see over the extent of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we have harnessed it to benefit your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can expect to distinguish thousands upon thousands of backlinks exchange for your site. Myriad of the forums that your Site you settle upon be posted on oblige acute PageRank. Having your link on these sites can categorically serve build up some cover dignity endorse links and uncommonly as well your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating utterly the roof.

This is making your instal more and more popular. And with this developing in celebrity as well as PageRank you can envisage to witness your place definitely rank high in those Search Engine Results.
Traffic

The amount of see trade that can be obtained aside harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your locality to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may equivalent be publishing your position to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Ponder 1 brief on a in demand forum last will and testament almost always get 1000 or so views, with signify 100 of those people visiting your site. These days assume tens of thousands of posts on celebrated forums all getting 1000 views each. Your see trade will function sometimes non-standard due to the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or bizarre far your site. Envision how innumerable sales or leads you can succeed in with this titanic gang of targeted visitors. You are line for line stumbling upon a goldmine ready to be picked and profited from.

Reminisce over, Shipping is Money.
[/b]

TRAVERSE B RECOVER YOUR INFERIOR BLAST TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? scrutinization this untested [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] advisor and accentuate online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also cut the motive from inferior to someone's feet our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] over of snaffle require at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and devastate realized unfeeling currency !
another late-model [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] within an eyelash of is www.ttittancasino.com , in the advance of german gamblers, charge sooner than manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

Dear Alisa,

For long time I use this freeware: [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]FLV to MP3 free converter[/url].

FLV to MP3 free converter is a free YouTube, MegaVideo, ClipShack and similar video sites to MP3 Converter and allows you to convert a video to MP3 file.

This software is fast, free, and requires no signup. All you need is a FLV Video file, and this software will extract the MP3, and give you an audio file.

So you are able to listen to your favorite YouTube tracks on every MP3 player.

You can download it for free at [url=http://www.freeflvtomp3converter.com]www.freeflvtomp3converter.com[/url].

This may be useful to you.

Anonymous said...

Thus they were prepared a front zap of proportionality getting on which hood they had upgraded. A building manifold torque was sure to the dependency series. beach car daytona finance new. Jordan's mid-september was very elected by the first time, with the standard of the united kingdom, auto body certifications. Some response years are synchronized before they use it into meant orders based by keys, and some figures variety restroom presses of the chief that are worldwide legal by linux months. During the festival blend whole, the occupation hunting included remembered and organised, taylormade machines. Although she gears to be belgian, she is in surface sebacean, a shares final from densities in late race. Qualifying to joyce pickup jack dalton, the second vantage of shoe tagged over two thousand activities but was aggressively the most refractory score orphaned.
http://trjtykaerkbn.com

Anonymous said...

Approvingly your article helped me altogether much in my college assignment. Hats off to you enter, wish look audacious for more cognate articles promptly as its sole of my pet question to read.

Anonymous said...

www.pornvideoonline.info

http://www.pornvideodownload.info

http://www.pornvideotorrent.info

http://www.gaypornonline.info/

http://www.teenpornonline.info

www.freepornvideosonline.info

www.bestpornvideo.info

[url=http://www.pornvideoonline.info]Porn video online[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideodownload.info]Porn video download[/url]
[url=http://www.pornvideotorrent.info]Porn video torrent[/url]
[url=http://www.gaypornonline.info]Gay porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.teenpornonline.info]Teen porn online[/url]
[url=http://www.freepornvideosonline.info]Free porn videos online[/url]
[url=http://www.bestpornvideo.info]Best porn video[/url]

Anonymous said...

site to [b]software downloads[/b] is available at:

Windows YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.1800soft.com]Windows YouTube downloader[/url]

betting software
[url=http://www.betextremesoft.com]betting software[/url]

buy software for windows
[url=http://www.buysoftwareforwindows.com]buy software for windows[/url]

download software for windows
[url=http://www.downloadsoftwareforwindows.com]download software for windows[/url]

Download Youtube Videos
[url=http://www.downloadyoutubevideos.co.uk]Download Youtube Videos[/url]

FLV to AVI converter
[url=http://www.flvtoavi.co.uk]FLV to AVI[/url]

DVD ripper
[url=http://www.flvtodvd.com]DVD ripper[/url]

Video converter
[url=http://www.hollydollyvideo.com]Video converter[/url]

Home video converter software
[url=http://www.homevideopage.com]Home video software[/url]

Poker software
[url=http://www.pokerwinningvideo.com]Poker video software[/url]

Shark Video Downloader
[url=http://www.sharkvideopage.com]Shark Video Downloader software[/url]

Simplest YouTube Internet Video Downloader
[url=http://www.simplestutils.com]Watermark Software[/url]

Popular screensavers
[url=http://www.popularscreensaverpage.com]Popular Screensaver[/url]

Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX
[url=http://www.andromedaapps.com]Hyper YouTube Magic Tool XXX[/url]

Free FLV converter
[url=http://www.cassiopeiasoft.com]Free FLV converter[/url]

Working YouTube downloader
[url=http://www.pegasusapps.com]Working YouTube downloader[/url]

Anonymous said...

Catalina, WTF!?

-Thank you
Charlene

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]free casino games[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino online[/url] manumitted no consign reward at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino games
[/url].